


my heart is limping (this is the end of the road)

by snakebait



Series: cyborgs don't bleed [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Error (Music Video), M/M, Mentions of Death, there will be a part 2 that includes wonshik i promise you lol, there's violence in chapter 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 13:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakebait/pseuds/snakebait
Summary: The concept of creating life, something wonderful, is lost on some people, creating cyborgs for the sole purpose of killing. Cyborgs with consciousnesses are unheard of, something that his father had been trying to perfect for years and years and never succeeding. The human brain is incredible and not even humans know much about it but replicating that into a robot is impossible and to most people, pointless. A robot with a conscious makes them too similar to humans, makes it too easy for them to overpower humanity and take over like every Hollywood films makes people believe.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> visit my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/RAVITHCRACKKIDZ) to see a thread of all the [characters](https://twitter.com/RAVITHCRACKKIDZ/status/1113323899746258944) and some explanation of plot! as well as a playlist of music and the rest of my fics lol. you can message my cc or dm me lol
> 
> here's poetry my friend wrote for this fic!
> 
> His heart beats to the tune  
> Of their breathing when  
> They bring his hand  
> To their chests and inhale. 
> 
> His heart. It glows  
> The bright white light  
> Of the rainbow. 
> 
> Red, flaming and burning  
> For the rage he feels  
> When they’re hurt and worn.  
> Red, for the love  
> He’s not supposed to  
> Be capable of. 
> 
> Orange, the sun,  
> Reflecting how he wants  
> To float in their orbit.  
> Orange, for the sweet taste  
> Of summer and the heat  
> He feels pulling at his artificial skin.
> 
> Yellow.  
> The blossoms and sunflowers  
> Jaehwan placed in his hair.  
> Yellow.  
> For the fields they walked through  
> In his sepia colored memories.
> 
> Green, bright green.  
> When he first felt  
> The soft grass touch  
> His bare feet. 
> 
> Bluest of blues.  
> The color of the ocean  
> The waves crashing against the sand.  
> Blue for the nothingness he felt.  
> Blue for the hope of the morning  
> Sky that broke the  
> The  
> The  
> Ivory and violet  
> He saw when he opened his eyes  
> In hongbin’s basement workshop.  
> Violet and ivory for the way  
> Sunsets set ablaze the beauty  
> He sees in all of them.
> 
> there's no real warning for this aside from what's already in the tags. happy reading!

Hongbin had always been alone.

An only child all his life, Hongbin didn’t have anyone to share his life with growing up. His parents were his everything, his mother his rock while his father was his pride. With a robotic mechanic as a father, how could Hongbin not be proud of him? He would gush about him in class to his friends, constantly talking about his creations and what Hongbin was permitted to see. A little boy’s dream is something as crazy as a robot to take over the world and for Hongbin, his father made that a reality all the time when he was a kid.

Growing up, it was something to be proud of. There was no slander, no repercussions for people creating life where there was once nothing. It was inspiring, beautiful and poetic in a way that only some could replicate, onlysome could accomplish. But over time, the media got worse, the wars got more bloody with robots to replace soldiers with the sole purpose of killing and by the time Hongbin turned seven, he didn’t talk about his father’s creations in class anymore.

Cyborgs were supposed to be revolutionary, the dawn of a new age and for a time, they were. But the technology got into the wrong hands like every movie warns humans about and soon, mechanics and scientists were fighting, philosophers at each other’s throats, world leaders arguing about the next best soldier: robot or man. Hongbin had always loved- _admired_ his father’s work, his house filled with little gadgets and random robots programmed to clean or help wherever they could. Robots weren’t frowned upon until they suddenly were after the rise of technology and now, no one cares about how great Hongbin thinks his dad’s work is. They only care about what robot will be used in the next war and what robot will escape and kill them in their sleep. Life nowadays is a bad post apocalyptic film and Hongbin hates it. 

The concept of creating life, something wonderful, is lost on some people, creating cyborgs for the sole purpose of killing. Cyborgs with consciousnesses are unheard of, something that his father had been trying to perfect for years and years and never succeeding. The human brain is incredible and not even humans know much about it but replicating that into a robot is impossible and to most people, pointless. A robot with a conscious makes them too similar to humans, makes it too easy for them to overpower humanity and take over like every Hollywood films makes people believe.

Except, making robots in man’s image was fine ten years ago. But now, cyborgs kill. Cyborgs murder and steal, they’re rotten and unholy creatures, something _man_ created in the first place. But oh, no! Man can’t kill. Man doesn’t murder because man has consciousness, has morality and humanity.

Hongbin is sick of it.

He’s sick of his friends avoiding his house because of his father. Growing up, everything was perfect but once the wars broke out, once the media got a little louder, Hongbin was the weird kid in school with the mad father who made robots in attempts to create them with consciousness. He never succeeded but no one cared what Hongbin had to say. They only cared so long as they could use it against him, make him cry and scream that they were wrong until his mother had to pick him up and take him home.

The worst was when his father died.

Hongbin had been twelve, had just moved towns and schools to avoid his earlier issues when he got a phone call through the school. The robots he loved, the robots his father was so proud of creating, had killed him. His father, obsessed with creating life, took it one step too far, one step _wrong._

They don't let him see the body, don't let him see the lab. It’s too gruesome for a child, for a baby. Hongbin doesn’t cry but his mother weeps until she faints, leaving Hongbin to sit on the front porch, his head in his hands. Things had just started going right for him, in school, in his friendship circle and now, he’s lost the one man who actually made him believe in a future.

His father is dead, his mother now in hysterics half the time and Hongbin is keeping up appearances at school as best as he can, perfecting a smile that isn’t his. Humanity feared robots but Hongbin is becoming one by the second, his expressions learned and perfected, his heart beating to a rhythm that he programmed himself. Hongbin is hollow and there is nothing that can fill that void, his father leaving too big of a hole to stitch back up. It’s been numb for such a long time that even now, his hands shaking as he stands at the door to the basement, Hongbin feels nothing.

He manages to get into his father’s lab while his mother is out at her second job when he’s thirteen. It had been cleaned, sterilized and still smelled of bleach even after a year since his father’s accident. Hongbin had sniffed and his eyes watered suddenly, unsure if it was purely from the bleach or if it was the tears he failed to shed the night of his father’s death.

It’s relatively normal, left unattended for a year now. There’s dust on the shelves and the computer hasn’t been touched but all and all, it’s how Hongbin remembers it. He was never allowed in when his father was working but there was times where he would sneak in or his father would let him come in and explore, let him listen as he rambled about his latest project or new client. Everything is how he left it and Hongbin is hit with a wave of nostalgia and misery, his father stripped away from the laboratory that was once completely his, something he trusted Hongbin with, shared with him in pride, but now he’s gone, the lab abandoned and dusty like an old artefact to sit on the shelf and be forgotten. 

Hongbin takes a shuddering breath, willing himself not to sneeze. There’s a silence in the room, eerie and lonesome and he sniffs away his coming tears, squinting through the darkness at the sheet in the middle of the lab, his father’s last project standing stark in the middle of the room. It isn’t the thing that killed him, Hongbin knows that much but when he rips off the sheet, he almost lets out a scream at the sight of it.

It’s not scary in the slightest, a blank canvas almost but it’s just a _head_ and torso, clearly meant to be a human and Hongbin covers his mouth with his hand, afraid that this _thing_ is going to come alive and kill him, just like his father’s creation did to him. 

The robot doesn’t move at all but it’s human, to say the least, a male. There’s no arms or legs and there’s none in sight in the lab but Hongbin knows enough to know that this robot isn’t completed. There’s the beginning of hair, fluorescent red covering half of its head and Hongbin frowns at the colour choice. There’s no heart in its chest and Hongbin logs onto his father’s computer quickly, surprised to see that it still works, reads all the documents he can find until he hears the door creak open upstairs and he runs out of the room, up the stairs without covering the robot again. His mother is home and she will not be happy to know he’s been sneaking around downstairs, going through files that don’t belong to him and should remain forgotten.

His mother blinks at him when he steps in front of her at the door, trying to act normal. She doesn’t say anything, just tells him that it’s late and he has school tomorrow so he needs to get ready for bed. Hongbin nods at her, blindly and kisses her cheek, running up the stairs and into bed without another word. His mother doesn’t question him or follow.

There’s a robot in his basement and Hongbin wants to learn more about it, learn what his father intended to do with it before he died, learn what the purpose of it was before everything went to shit. Who was it meant for? His father only ever made robots that could benefit them, help them and work alongside them. None of them were big nor did they look _human_ so his father must have intended the robot to be for someone. Who? No one had come looking for it, asking when it was or what his father had done with it.

Why would his father create a humanoid robot? Those did exist but they weren’t too advanced. They only looked human, still acting like robots with no brain. They were programmed pre-creation to never exceed past a certain point and Hongbin knew enough about his father’s work to know that his father found that insensitive. He wanted consciousness; all he had to do was find it.

Hongbin doesn’t sleep. He _can’t,_ not with all this information in his head. He thinks, overthinks, stresses himself out until he has to sleep to forget for a little while but once he’s awake, he’s speeding through the day to do everything he can so he can come home and spend the whole night in the basement, reading and analysing his father’s notes and documents, making sense of the material to familiarise himself. He needs to know, needs to know what that robot was created for. It might be his chance to find out what his father truly wanted with cyborgs.

 

***

 

Hongbin is fourteen when he creates a heart.

He’s spent this whole time trying to perfect a brain and he’s gotten close a few times, the robot still in the same position as it was two years ago. Using what’s in his father’s lab, Hongbin had managed to sow together a heart with scrap metal and a whole lot of fire. It looks awful but the wiring connects well and when he tests it, it responds to his fingers with positive transmissions. It’s far from perfect but it’s Hongbin’s creation and he smiles at it, the positives sparking up on the computer. It grows higher until it suddenly stops and powers down. Hongbin curses but it’s better than normal and he knows exactly how he did it.

When he’s not working on hearts and brains, he modifies some of the old hands and legs that his father had already made. This robot will be tall, not too tall but still tall and his father had made it slim. Hongbin had been able to identify the cables and it’s easy to join them and fuse the wiring together. The back of the robot is open and gives Hongbin easy access to hook anything up and fuse things where he needs to. The robot has legs now, fully functional and one arm because Hongbin fucked up the other one and made it too long. It looks good and Hongbin had figured out how to fuse hair too, the robot now having a slightly trendy hair cut, dark maroon in colour. It looks good and Hongbin even got his mother to look at it. She gave her approval as best as she could, wary for him but he had convinced her that everything was safe. He only ever ran tests when he absolutely had to and experimenting with tiny hearts and brains didn’t put him at much risk. There isn’t any chance that the robot could just spring to life because Hongbin doesn’t even have the battery plugged in. That’s something else he will have to update too but that’s for future Hongbin to worry about.

All and all, it’s working out well. Hongbin aces most of his classes, picking up science really easily but nowadays, he doesn’t have a lot of time for friends. School life is boring for him, girls not interesting him in the slightest and boys even less so. Every time he’s in class, he’s thinking about going home and working on the robot. He constantly thinks about it, thinking about what he can change and modify and what will be more beneficial in the long run in terms of battery and protecting the inside of the robot. 

He ends his final class writing names in his notebook. This cyborg will need a name, won’t it? He supposes he should stop calling it an _it_ since it is intended to be a boy. He packs up his things and basically runs home, locking himself in the lab and logging onto the computer. He found video diaries from his father a few days ago and has been filtering through them, taking down notes for extra information and he stops dead when he hears his father say a name he doesn’t recognise.

Hakyeon.

Cha Hakyeon.

_I wanted this cyborg for Hongbin, actually,_ his father laughs in the video, making Hongbin’s heart race as he turns to the computer. He misses him so much, misses his voice, misses everything about him but these video diaries have never felt so personal until now. Hakyeon was for him?

_It’s hard to be there for him… I want to give him something, someone to take care of him when I can’t. I want that person to be Hakyeon. Motherly but… still a friend, someone who can help Hongbin with anything he needs when I can’t._

_I want Hakyeon to be Hongbin’s friend, someone he can rely on as he grows up. I don’t know how long I’ll keep Hakyeon around but I hope I can finish him before Hongbin’s next birthday. That’d be nice. He’ll be twelve._

Hongbin shakes, his pen slipping from his hand and he pulls up the notes that pair with this video. His father had already made preparations for a heart for Hakyeon, something he can mix with his own works. Hakyeon is for Hongbin. His father wanted Hakyeon for Hongbin and now Hongbin has to complete him.

Cha Hakyeon. The name rings in his ears as he works and he doesn’t even realise the time until his mother is banging on the door, calling him up for dinner. He runs up the stairs and grabs it from her, putting it on the desk before returning to Hakyeon, wires sprouting from his back. Hakyeon, from the front and chest up, looks completely human. Hongbin needs to figure out how his father made the skin because it’s artificial but stretchy, like normal skin, and Hakyeon’s arms and legs are bare, smooth plastic and wirings and cables flowing underneath.

He packs up when his mother calls him for bed, stumbling up the stairs with bleary eyes but his mother kisses his forehead and sends him off to bed with a small smile. She works hard for him, to put him through school and anything else he wants and he wants to thank her, thank her for raising him with all the hardship she's experienced. Maybe he can make her something one day. Maybe Hakyeon can be her gift too.

Hongbin does sleep that night, his mind at ease for the most part. He's making progress with the heart and Hakyeon’s name - full name. Hongbin can't wait until he's able to wake him up, give him life. Hakyeon has eyes, even if they're closed right now and Hongbin can't wait to show him his new life.

 

***

 

His mother wants him to stop.

Hongbin isn’t one to give up but having to sneak around his mother is breaking him down. She works two jobs to help him get through school and to be fair, he is passing all his classes. He makes sure of it so that he can relieve his mother just a little bit from her worries. He wants to be a good son, someone she can rely on. He can take care of himself on his own and he doesn’t want her to stress over him, to worry where it’s not needed.

She sleeps a lot more nowadays, while Hongbin is at school or while she’s home before she has to go to work. On her days off, she does nothing but sleep and as guilty as it is, Hongbin is able to get into the laboratory in those times, keeping the door open so he can try and strain his ears for when she wakes up, or for when the floorboards creak above, signalling her footsteps from her bedroom. Hongbin wonders if that’s why his father had his lab created down here, so he could work in silence but hear the creaking of the house, telling him whether or not his curious son or worrisome wife was awake and looking for him.

Hongbin had never woken to the sounds of anything in his father’s lab but he had wandered down the stairs and fallen asleep on his father’s lap while he sat at his desk and worked through the night. He would wake up in his bed the next morning, his mother calling him down for breakfast. His father would sit opposite him and wink, their secret only for them. His mother would have gone ballistic if she knew their seven year old was sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night and falling asleep in the laboratory instead of in his own bed.

Hongbin shakes his head, unlocking the door and keeping the key on him. He always has it around his neck, safe where he can feel it, close to his heart. He stopped covering up Hakyeon’s face a long time ago and when he sees him, he greets him. It’s a little sad given that Hakyeon isn’t even responsive and can’t answer him but it’s a comfort. A comfort that he’s not completely alone down here. 

His father had designed Hakyeon’s voice already and Hongbin had been picking through the files to see how he did it, for future reference. He leaves the voice as it is, keeping his thoughts to himself. He’s yet to listen to the audio, would rather keep it a surprise for when Hakyeon wakes up than anything else.

He had been able to give Hakyeon scent receptors or at least what he _thinks_ are scent receptors. His father had notes on it from when he had made a coffee machine to help his mother, programming it with a voice and everything and Hongbin applies that to the base of Hakyeon’s infrastructure, connecting the wiring where it needs to go in what is his nasal cavity now and he smiles when the computer lights up, indicating that Hakyeon will be able to smell. Right now, the scent receptors are responding to the hot coffee Hongbin is waving around underneath Hakyeon’s nose and he grins, dimples popping.

The floorboards creak and Hongbin drops the coffee in his hast to get out of the lab, running up the stairs and he stops dead when his mother enters the kitchen, thankfully not seeing him. The entrance to the lab is at the end of the hall, the stairs leading down into the hallway underground and underneath the backyard. If you don’t know where to look then you won’t find it but the entire lab is _under_ the house. He doesn’t know what his father did to make the walls and roof so responsive to sound but he’s grateful for it. 

He speeds upstairs as quietly as he can manage and gets into bed, covering himself with his blanket. He didn’t change out his lab coat but the blanket covers him enough. He hears his door creak open, his mother sighing at him but she doesn’t call out to him, whisper anything or touch him. She closes the door soon after and once Hongbin hears her own door click shut, he heads back down to the lab. It’s a Friday night, he doesn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow and he’s making a lot of progress with Hakyeon. He wants to keep working on him, see him come to life and finally talk to him, see if he remembers anything from his father or was able to retain any memories from anything before. He might be able to give Hongbin and his mother some closure, to know that his father wasn’t trying to create bad things. Hakyeon was meant for Hongbin so it’s safe to assume that his father wanted nothing to do with weaponised cyborgs, even if one did kill him in the end.

The heart he made is hooked up to Hakyeon but the power source was overridden and burn out before Hongbin could test it. At least he knows he needs to make the battery last longer and he knows he has to multiply it on a bigger scale so that he can power an entire cyborg. It’ll take a lot of work, work that will still be done even when Hakyeon is awake, but it’s going smoothly so far.

Hakyeon looks human for the most part and Hongbin has managed to integrate a colour scheme into him, blue being his primary light source. His wiring is mostly blue and if Hongbin has done it right, Hakyeon will have blue eyes when he opens his eyes. There’s bolts from the sides of his lips down to his chin that Hongbin is yet to cover, as well as lining of metal stemming from the corners of his eyes but other than that, his face has artificial skin, as well as his arms and legs now. His collarbones are covered but Hongbin has had to keep his chest and back accessible to connect cables to so Hakyeon isn’t completed in that aspect. But so far, so good. Hakyeon will be able to see and smell and if Hongbin can get this one connection right, he’ll be able to touch things and feel, too.

Hearing is trickier and he hasn’t been able to get it right but three out of the five main senses isn’t too bad for now. Cyborgs don’t need to eat and Hongbin isn’t going to hassle himself with that so all Hakyeon needs now is hearing and a heart and he’ll be ready to go. It sounds like it won’t take a while and on paper, Hongbin’s diagrams and designs don’t look at complicated, but actually creating a heart to connect up to what Hongbin hopes is consciousness… 

It’s going to take a long time before Hakyeon wakes up fully functional.

But Hongbin won’t give up on him. His father intended for Hakyeon to be by his side and even if Hongbin has to pick up where he left off, he’s damn happy to continue the work he’s loved and admired for years upon years. He can’t wait to meet Hakyeon, to finally meet someone he feels like he’s known for so long. He’s finally going to hear a voice come from him and even though Hongbin knows all the parts, all the pieces inside Hakyeon, he wants to learn him from what Hakyeon is willing to let him learn.

Hongbin smiles at Hakyeon, his eyes alight where Hakyeon’s aren’t and switches off the lights of the lab, letting Hakyeon’s power receptors glow blue, comforting above all, and returns to his bedroom for the night.

 

***

 

Hongbin is fifteen when Hakyeon wakes up.

His mother had been out all weekend, working back to back and then going to see Hongbin’s aunt because it’s closer to her work. Leaving a fifteen year old at home alone is irresponsible in some ways but Hongbin has been living independently for a while now, down in the lab working on Hakyeon whenever his time will allow it. He even brings his homework down there, running home and greeting his mother if she’s home before racing down the stairs to the basement level and flicking on the lights, smiling at Hakyeon and getting to work while he juggles Hakyeon and his math homework at the same time.

It’s not a good routine in hindsight but Hongbin still gets straight A’s, is still top of his class and even tries to make time for soccer games on Saturdays, leaving his Wednesday night open for practise. As much as he doesn’t want to make him wait, Hakyeon is a side project. Hongbin is still a teenager, still in high school and still has responsibilities besides building an entire fucking android in his basement. Hakyeon can wait a little longer for him to grow up. 

It’s been two years since Hongbin first started working on Hakyeon, almost three this coming new year. Hongbin is set to graduate at seventeen, excelling in some of his classes to lessen his workload for the future and right now, he’s very thankful that he spent so long analysing and decoding his father’s work. His science classes are paying off and his math is insane, something he hates to be proud of because no one likes math. He’s okay at his other classes, and is going into game design and animation in the coming year as an elective. He dropped Chinese a few months back but still learns it when he feels like it, the skill coming in handy when he needs to order parts but the instructions aren’t in Korean. All in all, his high school career is going well but he hates having to read for his classes. It takes up too much time but he’ll be damned if he fails one class after working so hard to keep his grades up.

He’s avoided talking to Hakyeon out loud but sometimes it’s too hard. The cyborg won’t respond to him, genuinely can’t because he’s not even awake but Hongbin talking, ranting about anything helps him get some things off his chest. He doesn’t have many people who will listen to him in school, especially someone who will listen to him talk about _Hakyeon_ so talking straight to the cyborg who can’t hear him is his best bet. It’s mostly just mindless complaining. Sometimes the cables electrocute him, sometimes he screws up the wiring and short circuits some of Hakyeon’s fingers so he has to replace the whole thing and try again. There’s more advancements than setbacks but it’s still annoying when he makes the same mistake six times in a row before he has to completely remove Hakyeon’s left arm and fix what he fried in the infrastructure. 

But it’s a Thursday night when Hakyeon wakes up.

Hongbin is trying to implement a new heart he modified, hoping this will work a little better this time. He tested it and the same positive response came back, signaling for joy when Hongbin spoke to it. He already put in Hakyeon’s hearing, everything working smoothly and so far, so good. Most of the transmissions go through Hakyeon and feed back into his computer wirelessly. It works out well and Hakyeon can touch things and have the heat signatures come through his receptors and back into Hongbin’s computer into a window he programmed specifically for Hakyeon. It lists all of his vitals, whether or not his hearing, sight or smell is optimal or needs to be adjusted or fixed and whether or not his battery is low or not. It’s almost like a computer game only Hakyeon is real and walking around, his transmissions forming emotions and different kinds of information that are interpreted by his computer so that Hongbin can keep tabs on each of them and see what needs to be fixed and what he’s done right.

Hongbin fits the smooth plastic into Hakyeon’s back once he’s finished with the heart, happy to see that it’s transmitting to his computer beautifully. He already replaced the old battery with one that can last for hours at a time before it needs to be replaced or recharged. Hakyeon can walk and interpret different things and Hongbin just prays that the programming he used works so that Hakyeon will have no problems with his voice when he wakes up.

Hongbin looks at Hakyeon from the front, looking over his shoulder as he holds his wireless keyboard, switching on various things in Hakyeon’s heart and brain. He needs a balance and he squints when he thinks he finds it, feeding positive inputs into Hakyeon’s heart and brain, coaxing him to open his eyes to at least be responsive. 

Hongbin is staring hard at Hakyeon, taking in his features nervously. This could be the moment everything changes, the moment when Hakyeon finally wakes up. After almost three years of work, Hakyeon could finally be alive and responsive, could be able to talk to Hongbin like his father wanted. Everything depends on his and Hongbin glances at his computer a final time before setting a final switch in place. When he does, the penny drops and all the lights in his lab switch off.

Hongbin curses, thinking he’s overloading the system and he sighs, setting down his keyboard on the desk where he knows one is and sits on his chair, wheeling himself back to his computer. He tries to switch it on but it doesn’t work out too well, the system crashing in his log.

“Fuck’s sake,” he says, scratching his head. He stands to go to the fuse box in the corner but before he can do anything, the lights switch back on again. He startles a little, turning slower. If this ends up like a Hollywood movie he refuses to watch, he’s going to be pissed in the afterlife. He’s grateful he double locked and bolted the door to prevent his mother from coming in because if Hakyeon wakes up hostile, he wants Hakyeon to stay with him and take it out on him, rather than his mother. He can only be thankful that she’s not home right now.

Hongbin stands frozen in front of Hakyeon, waiting for him to do _something_ and he’s about to grab his keyboard when he hears sparks. He snatches his hand away on instinct but that lands him in front of Hakyeon again, peering up at him because Hakyeon is the size of a full grown man while Hongbin is a skinny fifteen year old, not yet hitting his growth sprout. When Hongbin looks up, he finally meets Hakyeon’s open eyes, blue and shining like he wanted them to be.

Hakyeon switches on in a flash of bright lights and colourful sparks, his eyes blinking slowly as Hongbin stares at him, his own eyes wide. The cyborg tilts his head, maroon hair glinting in the low light of Hongbin’s lab and painting his skin in a pretty glow. His eyes are silver and blue, trying their best to focus, adjusting to the new light and his own mainframe until suddenly they do focus and Hakyeon leans forward, towering over Hongbin.

_What have I done?_ Hongbin thinks as Hakyeon moves forward, Hongbin falling to the floor, staring up at him in sudden fear. _He’s going to kill me, my own-_

“It’s okay,” someone says and Hongbin opens one eye, hiding his face but looks up at him, realising it’s _Hakyeon’s_ voice, beautiful and making Hongbin’s heart beat just a little bit faster. It’s the voice his father designed for Hakyeon, a little soft but pretty, nurturing and lovely. Hongbin can’t stop staring at him. “I don’t mean to scare you, but who are you?”

Hongbin stills, Hakyeon’s hands flexing before he offers his hand, the gears inside sounding off as his joints move and Hongbin stares at his hand this time, Hakyeon tall and weighing more than Hongbin could ever imagine but looking effortless as he holds his palm out. Hongbin can’t speak, can barely believe that _Hakyeon_ can speak and in an instant, he grabs Hakyeon’s hand slowly and once he’s up, he hugs him tightly, Hakyeon’s joints squeaking a little as the cyborg stills too in surprise. He doesn’t breathe and Hakyeon is an entire body of nuts, bolts and scrap metal right now but there’s a small chuckle. Hongbin can see the positive receptors on the computer from here which makes him smile.

Hakyeon’s arms circle Hongbin’s shoulders, cold but responsive. He chuckles lightly and Hongbin pulls away to look up at him surprise. “You… I’m only confused. But I won’t hurt you.”

“I created you,” Hongbin manages, his eyes full of tears. He pulls away, embarrassed and wipes his eyes, smacking his cheeks to make himself come back to the present. Everything is so overwhelming but Hakyeon is alive, is right in front of him and he just hugged him. Hongbin feels so confused but so utterly fucking happy. Three years of work have paid off and it’s in the form of Hakyeon, peering at him with kind eyes. “I didn’t- I wasn’t sure if it would _work._ But it- It did and I…” He smiles because he’s so fucking confused and surprised and Hakyeon smiles too, his eyes lighting up like Hongbin always wanted them to. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You must be Hongbin,” Hakyeon says, taking his hand just to feel his fingers. His eyes flick from silver and blue to a soft brown when he blinks, his eyelashes black compared to his ruddy hair. He’s even more handsome than Hongbin anticipated and just looking at him is making Hongbin’s heart flutter. He’s beyond happy that he even managed to do this, to wake Hakyeon up, give him life and a voice. Hakyeon is made from his hands and now he’s seeing, hearing, touching Hongbin, taking him in and experiencing what Hongbin always wanted him to have.

Hongbin nods to his question, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “It-It’s nice to finally meet you,” he manages, threading his fingers through Hakyeon’s. The cyborg is so unbelievably cold but it’s somehow Hakyeon, his artificial skin soft against Hongbin’s above all else. “Your name is Hakyeon. I don’t know if I actually gave you that information.”

Hakyeon hums, squeezing his fingers as he looks around, his eyes flickering different shades of brown as he takes in everything in the lab. He looks back at Hongbin, almost down at him before smiling softly. “I knew without the information you gave me. I always knew.”

Hongbin blinks at him, frowning. “Could you… Were you conscious and I didn’t know?”

“Not exactly.” Hakyeon pulls away to walk around the room, getting used to his legs and he rolls his ankles one at a time, testing the joints. He’s not clothed and Hongbin doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed but there are some pants on one of the lab tables, Hakyeon quickly taking them and pulling them on. The only thing visible is his chest, lithe rather than skinny and his skin is a little darker, bronzed and smooth. “When you would speak to me, I could retain certain words.” He taps his chest when Hongbin knows for a fact he placed his heart. “In here, rather than my brain. After all, it is all transmissions, is it not?”

Hongbin nods, sitting down in his chair to prevent himself from fainting. They could talk all day and all night but it’s nearing his bedtime and he can’t stay in here all night and sleep. His mother would never allow it, even if she isn’t home. He has school tomorrow, for crying out loud and right now, all his responsibilities are rushing to him and making him hyperventilate. He gave Hakyeon life but he didn’t exactly think about what he would once Hakyeon had it. What does he do now? Hide Hakyeon in his basement and shut him off when he moves away for college? What the fuck does he do now, with a fully functional robot in his fucking basement?

Hakyeon is at his side in an instant, sliding along the floor to meet Hongbin as he falls forward, off his chair from lightheadedness and into his waiting arms. He’s overwhelmed and Hakyeon only just woke up but is having to deal with his shit already. The wheely chair goes spinning across the smooth concrete, the sound loud against their ears.

Hakyeon shushes him, smoothing his hair down and his cold hand on Hongbin’s back stills him, making him focus on that feeling, his arms drawing around Hakyeon’s bare torso. It should feel wrong, taboo in a way, for his hands to be touching Hakyeon’s back where there’s no skin, only plastic and wires underneath but Hongbin holds onto him and squeezes him as tight as he can to ground himself even further, letting out shuddering breaths as he does.

Hakyeon pulls him into his lap, curling him up like a child and Hongbin hides his face in his neck, letting his tears flow. He’s happy, so unbelievably happy, overjoyed even. Hakyeon already is handling everything perfectly, much better than Hongbin ever could and he laughs when Hakyeon starts to sing, a lullaby that his mother used to sing to him years ago. 

“How do you… How do you know that?” he whispered, surprised. Hakyeon shouldn’t know it - _Hakyeon can’t know that._ He never programmed it into him, never gave him the knowledge.

“You sang a lot,” Hakyeon answers, his fingers moving in Hongbin’s hair. “You would sing to me. It… I absorbed it, I believe.”

Hongbin takes a deep breath, levelling himself back to earth and pulls away from Hakyeon. He looks into his eyes, brown meeting grey-blue before Hakyeon’s eyes replicate his own, warm brown and he smiles softly.

“I didn’t think you could do that,” Hongbin admits. There’s a lot the two of them don’t know about each other. He may have created Hakyeon but there’s so much more he has to learn about him, so much more that Hakyeon needs to learn about himself. “With memories. I gave you the knowledge of your name and your voice… But I didn’t know you could _hear_ me before. When you were asleep.”

“When I was a box of nuts and bolts?” Hakyeon muses, his skin slowly warming underneath Hongbin’s touch. He's still horribly cold, something Hongbin doesn't know how to fix but it’s calming in all the right ways. Hakyeon feels familiar, he feels human. Hongbin somehow loves him already.

They draw away, suddenly awkward but Hongbin swallows his pride, addressing the matter at hand. “It’s… It’s late. My mom is usually home during the day while I’m at school so… We have to figure out what to do-”

“Don't shut me off,” Hakyeon says, almost begging and Hongbin takes his hands immediately, shaking his head. That never even occurred to him and it never will. He got this far, got Hakyeon to finally wake up; there's no way in fucking hell he’s ever shutting him down.

“I won't, but you can't leave this lab,” he replies, defiant. “My mom- She’ll freak out if she sees you. If she sees you walking around and-” He takes a breath, stopping himself from overthinking everything. “It won't be good. I don't want you to get hurt. There’s… There’s people out there who won’t like you.”

Hakyeon nods, his fingers twitching, grasping Hongbin’s hand. They stand up together, Hongbin a little wobbly but he smiles at Hakyeon. He needs to go to bed before he gets too overwhelmed and he hugs Hakyeon tight, startling him but Hakyeon’s touch is like an earthquake, making him shudder and take a deep breath.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Hongbin says, definite when he pulls away. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Hakyeon snorts, raking Hongbin’s hair out of his eyes. His gaze is fond, soft and only for Hongbin. “I'll be here.”

Hongbin barely sleeps and school can't finish quick enough the next day but when it does, he's home and racing downstairs to the lab and crashes into Hakyeon with a little too much force, excited to talk to him. He's so caught up in him, how old Hakyeon seems and how old the cyborg perceives himself to be. According to Hakyeon, he’s nineteen and since yesterday was June thirtieth, they decide that to be his birthday.

Hakyeon recites the months of the year back to him and smiles when Hongbin says his age. “You're very young but you managed to complete me.” He hums, looking around the lab again. They're on the cot table in the corner of the room, Hakyeon sitting there with a book he was reading in his lap while Hongbin sits on his wheely chair, his chin in his hands as he looks up at Hakyeon. 

“Very young and very smart,” Hakyeon says, his gaze soft again. “I feel proud of you, somehow.” He looks handsome, his features more on the soft side but he's pretty in a way Hongbin didn't think he would be. 

Hongbin smiles at him, close mouthed but happy and Hakyeon smiles back, his cheeks round. He looks mature, older, while Hongbin still has some baby fat that won't leave him alone. He's going to be sixteen in a few months but he still hasn't grown. His shoulders are big but he's not tall enough yet, not taller than Hakyeon. _Yet._

“What did you do today?” Hongbin asks and Hakyeon takes a breath, crossing his legs slowly. He recounts all the novels he could find, saying that the one he's reading, Angels and Demons by an English author that Hongbin doesn't recognise. It’s in English, too, which Hongbin balks at, taking the copy and scanning it. His father spoke English but he wasn't fluent and Hakyeon seems to be handling this one just fine, able to recite the plot to Hongbin when he asks without any issues.

“How do you know English?” he asks, handing the novel back to Hakyeon and the cyborg points to Hongbin’s computer like it’s the easiest question to answer in the world.

“I learned,” he says simply, blinking when Hongbin stares at him. “I don't think I’d be able to speak it with a convincing accent, though. I learnt Japanese, too.”

Hongbin can speak English too, sure, but learning it in one day along with Japanese is ludicris to him but this is Cha Hakyeon. That's enough of an answer for him and he laughs, shaking his head.

“You're very young and very smart,” he says, repeating Hakyeon from before and the cyborg shakes his head, smiling to himself. 

It’s nice to have someone he can talk to, someone he can just exist with and talk about everything and nothing all at once. Hakyeon is smart but there's a lot about himself that he doesn't know and Hongbin is an enigma to him, too. They learn each other and when they think they’ve mastered each other, they learn more. He’ll never know every single detail about Hakyeon but he wants to try his hardest. He created him but Hakyeon is building himself with knowledge every passing day, exceeding Hongbin’s expectations. Just when he thinks Hakyeon will slow down, he's reeling with new knowledge and facts and it’s fun to see him gush about things that he likes, one of them being dance. 

When Hongbin gets too tired, he’ll fall asleep in the lab with Hakyeon singing to him, his fingers raking through Hongbin’s hair. It’s one of his favourite things to do to Hongbin, smiling when he relaxes into his cold touch. He’s constantly changing, his back now covered with artificial skin and his nails sometimes are black, a skill he tries to use on Hongbin but gets turned down. He paints them sometimes when Hongbin is asleep, dead to the world and smiles when Hongbin wakes up and scowls at them.

Sometimes, his mother comes down to retrieve Hongbin and put him to bed like a toddler, like she used to when he was little. Hakyeon will hear the front door of the house open and when he hears the first door to the basement open, he will hide in the dark until Hongbin’s mother is gone, either carrying him up the stairs because he's still small and light enough for her to do that or she’ll push him upstairs while he's still mumbling in his sleep. Hongbin will turn before the lights go out, catching sight of Hakyeon’s eyes flashing blue before they close and he’ll smile and kiss his mother goodnight, wishing her a good sleep.

When he comes home from school, he does it all over again. Hakyeon is his constant, his love getting Hongbin through. There's never a dull moment with him and Hongbin never tires of running home from school and when his mother gets him a new phone, he gives his old one to Hakyeon and texting him during the day is even more exciting. He's completely infatuated with him, finding everything about him interesting, whining when Hakyeon doesn't show him affection but complaining when he does. He fits into Hongbin’s life but he was made to be there. Hongbin can barely remember a time when he wasn't by his side.

Cha Hakyeon was created by Lee Hongbin’s father for Lee Hongbin but he completes Hongbin in a way he didn't know he needed. The hole his father left behind was forever open but Hakyeon fills his heart with joy, something he hasn't felt in a long time. He loves him, loves a cyborg with a soft voice and sparkling eyes. Hakyeon is everything to him, right in front of him and wonderful, so wonderful.

Hongbin is fifteen when Hakyeon wakes up. He never wants him to go back to sleep.


	2. two

It’s Hongbin’s birthday.

He's seventeen.

This is the second birthday he's spent with Hakyeon and possibly the last he’ll spend with his mother. He's set to graduate this year, a year earlier than normal but he's already locked into a robotics university. His birthday couldn't have come any slower but after dinner with his mother, he’s downstairs with Hakyeon. It’s a Friday night so he can stay up as long as he wants.

It’s been a year and a few months since Hakyeon woke up. His mother figured it out in due time around when Hongbin turned sixteen. Admittedly, it was a little weird that he was spending every single day after school downstairs in the basement, talking to himself as he had told her but she had gone downstairs to make sure Hongbin had actually gone to school one day and found Hakyeon tidying the lab.

Coming home to the cyborg he created having tea with his mother is by far the weirdest thing he's experienced and it took time to reassure her that Hakyeon wasn't some deadly device made to kill everyone Hongbin hated or set to kill him or her. Hakyeon was just as much a boy as Hongbin and his mother had warmed to him, still keeping him at a distance but sometimes he would wander upstairs and clean the house while she and Hongbin were away just to take the weight off her shoulders a little. He picked up cooking from her too and when Hongbin goes downstairs after dinner, he can smell the cake that's wafting up the stairs towards him.

“I said no cake,” he whines when he opens the door, finding Hakyeon standing there in the dark with the cake and candles alight on top. It’s pitch black aside from him and Hongbin’s ears pink at the sight of him, trying to take the smile off his face but he's grateful. 

“Happy birthday,” Hakyeon whispers when Hongbin is close enough. He's taller than Hakyeon now, somehow shooting up to six foot in the past year and Hakyeon looks up at him slightly, smiling softly.

Hongbin takes a breath and blows out the candles, Hakyeon’s eyes lighting up for some help while Hongbin flicks the light switch. Hakyeon has changed over the past year, opting for longer hair and it’s brown now instead of maroon. He looks realistic, like the twenty year old he is and his skin is still bronzed and pretty, a beautiful contrast to Hongbin’s.

“What did you wish for?” he asks and Hongbin laughs, taking the cake and falling into his chair, wheeling himself to his desk. He sets the cake down, taking the knife that Hakyeon gives him from the tool cart. 

“I can't say it out loud,” Hongbin smiles, keeping tradition. Hakyeon chops his neck with a frown but sits on the desk, crossing his legs effortlessly. Over the past few months, Hongbin has been modifying him and updating his wirings and certain connections since he’s been learning new things. Hakyeon tells him what he likes and doesn't like so that Hongbin doesn't make any weird changes and Hakyeon over time has become lighter in weight because of Hongbin incorporating certain wirings all into one. Hongbin can lift him now, still straining himself but before, Hakyeon was too heavy for him to even push. It was difficult for him to move before, his limbs too heavy even for him so Hongbin made him stronger but more lithe, too. 

Wearing Hongbin’s clothes ended as soon as it started too, Hakyeon’s body too small even for Hongbin’s shirts when he was fifteen. Now, when Hongbin grows out of something, he can give it to Hakyeon but the cyborg likes clothing that Hongbin would never wear. He hates rips in his pants but doesn't mind holes in his shirts, likes hats and beanies too. He has a lot of robe type jackets too, something Hongbin would never wear but they fit Hakyeon beautifully.

He doesn't wear shoes almost ever but when he does, it’s Hongbin’s old doc martens. At first, they made him taller than Hongbin but now the shoes let him reach six foot comfortably, something he hates but Hongbin loves to tease him for.

“You could have made me taller,” Hakyeon had said to him a few months ago while trying to to tie platform shoes that reached his knees. Hongbin had snorted at him, pausing his game to look at him.

“You were taller than me when you woke up,” he replied, watching Hakyeon’s legs swing back and forth. The shoes were black, the laces thick and a stark white and Hakyeon had sighed, standing up as Hongbin did too. Their heights were extremely different but for Hakyeon, technically three years older than Hongbin to be smaller than him when he had watched Hongbin grow, hurt his pride in a way that made Hongbin laugh at him, fond.

“You'll grow,” Hongbin said and Hakyeon had shoved him so hard, he stumbled back into his chair as he giggled.

Now, Hakyeon watches him as he cuts the cake but refuses the slice when Hongbin offers it to him. He can eat things, but it’s pointless. He can’t digest things like humans and he gains nothing from the food. The flavours of food are nice, Hakyeon has told him, but it serves him no purpose like it does for humans. He's a damn good cook though, even for someone who doesn’t need to eat. 

Hongbin sits back once he’s finished, the cake lovely but a little rich. He’ll take some to school if it lasts him that long.

Hakyeon doesn't need to sleep but the lab has become his bedroom in a way, a wardrobe for his clothes fitting in with all the cabinets lining the wall. He doesn't have a job and Hongbin gets paid for fixing people’s computers and laptops but he has a lot of things, some of them being Hongbin or his father’s before belonging to Hakyeon.

Hakyeon hops off the desk and goes to his wardrobe, opening it and fishing out a book that Hongbin has never seen before. Hakyeon presents it to him like it’s something that can broken if Hongbin doesn't hold it delicately. 

It’s a journal of sorts but the pages switch between lines and just plain drawing paper, complete with various coloured pens and pencils. Some of Hakyeon’s designs are already in there, the first page decorated with what thirteen year old Hongbin thought of when trying to decide Hakyeon’s name. Designs from his father are in there too, printed out notes and such clipped in and highlighted. There’s still plenty of room to spare with all that inside and Hongbin looks up at Hakyeon in surprise, unable to comprehend the time and the thought behind this.

“Why…” Hongbin swallows, tracing the lines he drew so long ago with his finger. “I don't know what to say, Hakyeon, I-”

Hakyeon kneels in front of him, flipping through the pages with him. “You never want anything and you didn't ask for anything for your birthday,” he says softly, pausing on a page that details how Hongbin made Hakyeon’s heart. “I thought about gifts for a while but none of them stuck. It was either this or I teach you how to cook and that wouldn't have ended well.”

Hongbin snorts, slumping back into his chair. He's awful at cooking and Hakyeon won't let him forget it. He can cook toast without burning it but that took him years to master so it’s not something to brag about. 

Hakyeon flips the page again and there's two drawings. With the book laying open, he's able to see them both and it’s him and Hakyeon, their portraits detailed and accurate as they present now. Hakyeon’s hair is dark while Hongbin’s is a little shorter than how he has it now but it’s perfect somehow, artistically accurate and they both take up the page, the A5 journal now weighty in his hands.

“You can draw?” Hongbin breathes but Hakyeon shakes his head, smiling like he knows it’s a comfort to Hongbin. 

“I ordered them.” He mock gasps when Hongbin looks up at him. “Commission work, isn't it called? I ordered the journal too and did the rest myself. I’m not stupid.”

“I know you're not,” Hongbin breathes, looking down at the portraits. Hakyeon opens his mouth to speak but Hongbin tackles him to the ground in a hug, quickly grabbing the journal to hold it closed as he falls with Hakyeon.

“Why does hugging me always have to be a surprise?” Hakyeon says, calm, while Hongbin cries. He doesn't know how he's crying, only that he needs to and when Hakyeon holds him close, his cold arms around Hongbin’s shoulders, he cries even harder. Hakyeon is patient with him, stroking his hair and kissing his head when he thinks Hongbin won't fight him for it. Even when Hongbin’s tears reside and he's just sniffling, he doesn't let Hakyeon look at him.

“Why are you crying?” Hakyeon whispers, trying to coax to him to sit up but Hongbin refuses even though the floor is very hard against Hakyeon’s back. “Bin, look at me.”

“A lot has changed,” he says, refusing to look. “It’s… I’m grateful. To you.”

“I’m grateful to you,” Hakyeon whispers into Hongbin’s hair, kissing it softly. “Even when you whine and complain at the drop of a hat.”

“Shut up,” Hongbin hisses, slapping Hakyeon’s chest. “You complain too.”

“Only because you start it!”

Hongbin laughs, soft and into Hakyeon’s neck. He can feel the cyborg attempting to heat himself up but that's one thing Hongbin can’t fix and Hakyeon can't do; he’ll always be cold. It’s not necessarily a give away for him being a cyborg. He can heat himself up to a degree but it takes an immense amount of energy to do and tires Hakyeon out very quickly. He’s tried to help the heat problem but it refuses to present itself in a way that Hongbin can identify and actually fix. Hakyeon doesn’t seem to mind much, liking it when Hongbin flinches from his cold touch on his skin. 

Hongbin put a lot thought into Hakyeon when creating him and that hasn't changed even though he's awake now. Not too long ago, Hakyeon had left the house with Hongbin for the first time and it was a lot calmer than he thought it would be. Cyborgs being out in the open isn’t common and as far as anyone knows, cyborgs aren’t that realistic. There have been a few reports of suspected cyborgs or their makers, the media outraged at them and Hongbin wants to avoid being one of those people. He’s seventeen for crying out loud, he doesn’t have a death wish and he’s definitely not a fully fledged doctor with a degree in cybernetics. 

But going out with Hakyeon had been nice, like they were just normal friends hanging out, spending time together. They had just walked around, seen a movie and since it had been Hakyeon’s birthday a few weeks prior, they even bought a supermarket cake and ate it on the side of the road.

Hongbin decided against going out tonight even if it is his birthday. He wanted only to spend it with him and his mother, even if she had opted for an early night after dinner. He doesn’t mind; it’s a Friday night and Hakyeon likes to watch him play Overwatch, finding his reactions funny when he dies. 

His mother doesn’t come in to call him up for bed. He falls asleep at his desk, Hakyeon managing to move him to the cot in the corner of the room. Once Hongbin is settled in, Hakyeon stays in Hongbin’s chair to keep his coldness from Hongbin but he wakes up later in the night and pulls Hakyeon into the cot, cuddling into him despite his temperature.

“Happy birthday, Hongbin,” Hakyeon whispers to him, kissing his forehead just before Hongbin is finally asleep, dead to world with his best friend next to him, their arms and legs tangled together. He’s happy, happy with Hakyeon in his arms.

 

***

Moving is stressful.

Even with Hakyeon by his side the whole way, Hongbin is far from his share of mental breakdowns. He cries a lot and falls asleep in Hakyeon’s arms when he can't bring himself to move and his mother is sometimes afraid to leave him alone. He knows he's hurting her more than he's hurting himself and he's going to be okay once it’s all said and done but the countdown to when he leaves and goes to university is ingrained into his head and it’s so overwhelming sometimes that he can barely breathe.

“You’ve been waiting for this,” Hakyeon tells him one day and he's right: Hongbin has wanted nothing more than to graduate high school and move onto university. He's waited so long to finally study what he wants to study and with Hakyeon, his pride and joy waiting with him, he'd never felt more excited when he got that acceptance letter.

But the thought of being found out, of being targeted haunts him and the last thing he wants is to let something slip and his secret be broadcasted. Hakyeon is his secret, his little dream that became a reality in front of him. He’d trade the world if it meant that Hakyeon could be safe and he’s dreading the day that his secret will be found out. He knows he’s being ridiculous, that he’s overthinking everything but he’s too far gone to think normally for now. He’s stressed and he hates it.

He’ll have a small dingy apartment. Hakyeon needs him to keep him running and he needs Hakyeon to keep him sane so he’ll be living with Hongbin. His mother approved it already and he's just glad she loves Hakyeon as much as Hongbin loves him.

His relationship with Hakyeon has… changed, to say the least. Hongbin is eighteen this year and harbouring feelings shouldn't be new to him but harbouring feelings for a boy _and_ a cyborg definitely is. He's never had crushes that have lasted long and he hates PDA with a passion but Hakyeon lights a spark in him that he first dismissed as pride and now defines as love. It’s weird and he doesn't want to focus on it, especially since he's moving and starting university in just a few weeks. He's out of his fucking mind, honestly and he needs to return to the regular programme of classes and studying to correct it.

Though it’s a confusing time, he and Hakyeon have never been closer. When the move finally comes, Hongbin gets himself settled with Hakyeon’s help (he's a lot stronger than Hongbin) and in just a few hours, he's all moved in. The reality of it almost makes him faint but he goes to sleep with Hakyeon next to him, petting his head.

It’s weird but he's not that far from home and when he doesn't have classes, he goes home to his mother with Hakyeon and goes back to his lab. It’s easier to study in the familiar space of it, to experiment when he wants and Hakyeon likes it a little better here. Hongbin stares at the photos in the lab and can't bring himself to move them into his new apartment because then what would he find comfort in when he comes to this lab?

“There are other photos you can print and frame,” Hakyeon says when Hongbin says his question out loud. “Ones of us. Of your mother and you at your graduation.”

Hongbin hums, clicking on the computer and bringing up the photos he's copied from his phone. His lockscreen is him and Hakyeon on his seventeenth birthday, Hongbin smiling at the camera while Hakyeon looks at him. Hongbin loves that photo.

“Would you…” Hongbin takes a breath as he looks at the photo, trying to focus his eyes. “Do you ever wish you were something else? Like, if you were human? So you could…” He stops, frowning at his own words.

“So I could live normally?” Hakyeon offers, raising an eyebrow. “Not particularly. This is all I’ve ever known. It would be nice to go out a little more and maybe get a job if I could, just for the experience. But after all that, I’d never think of leaving.”

“Even if I asked you to?” Hongbin turns to him and is surprised to find anger in Hakyeon’s eyes.

“You're an idiot if you believe I ever would,” Hakyeon snaps, his eyes a blazing blue. He never gets angry. “Your father created me for you and you completed me. I'll never leave your side, even if you ask me to. I can't begin to think of ever-”

“I understand,” Hongbin interrupts, taking his hands to calm him down. “I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought… Is this what you really want?”

Hakyeon scoffs at him but he doesn’t pull away. “Why would I want anything else?”

Hongbin averts his eyes. He didn't want to make Hakyeon upset or angry because negative emotions tire him out immensely but this conversation had to be spoken.

“I don't want you to… To feel tied to me.” He looks up at Hakyeon and is surprised to see his own tears mirrored, only Hakyeon’s are black like ink. They stupidly try and mop up each other’s tears with their sleeves and hands, Hongbin’s skin stained with Hakyeon’s sorrow.

“I am tied to you,” Hakyeon says, his voice a little shaky. “Hongbin, it’s not a weakness. I want you to know that and I want to care for you and love you and support you like I’ve been doing all these years.” He takes a deep breath, his chest moving underneath Hongbin’s hands. “But only if you’ll have me. I want you to love me too.”

Oh, but he does. There isn't anyone on Earth that he loves more than Hakyeon. There's no one he could even think of that he’d rather spend his time with. Everything comes back to Hakyeon and everything to do with Hongbin will end with Hakyeon, his pride and joy. The love of his life or whatever poetic nonsense you want to make of it.

“I do love you,” Hongbin answers, smiling. “Hakyeon, how could I not?”

Hakyeon laughs, his eyes flickering from blue to brown. ““I know it embarrasses you but tell me it every once in a while. Tell me you love me.”

“I love you,” Hongbin smiles even though it’s cringy and he feels like a dumb teenager saying it. But he’d do anything for Hakyeon. He’d cross the oceans for Hakyeon. 

“Tell me it a lot,” Hakyeon smiles as he pushes Hongbin’s wheely chair away from him. “Never stop telling me! Even if it changes!”

Hongbin laughs, spinning away. “You're crazy.” 

They both know it won't change.

 

***

 

“Another cyborg?”

Hongbin uncrosses and crosses his legs, frowning. Hakyeon’s ideas are usually good but this one seems strange, illformed.

Hongbin has been building for some time now but nothing definite. He's made a chest piece and a few arms but had to disable the chest and fix the proportions after a while. He's restarted many projects, the old chest laying on the table of his lab and right now, Hakyeon is holding a detached hand, waving it around. It’s surreal to see him hold it, when he looks so human but is so perfectly not.

“Why?” is all Hongbin can ask, still frowning. He takes the hand from Hakyeon when he starts to get uncomfortable.

“I don't know,” Hakyeon replies, frowning too. “Does… What do I feel like to you?”

Hongbin blinks. It’s hard to put into words but Hakyeon feels like Hakyeon. Hakyeon feels like coming home, like someone he longs for when he's not with him. “You feel…” He squints at the hand piece, putting it away in a draw he’ll probably forget about. “You feel familiar. Like… You feel like Hakyeon.”

“I don't feel like a brother to you,” Hakyeon offers and Hongbin nods, surprised when Hakyeon agrees too.

“It’s not that it’s wrong,” Hakyeon says. “I don't think I was intended for that. And the admiration I feel for you isn't brotherly. At least, not all of it. I was created to take care of you, but not as a brother.”

Hongbin doesn't really follow what he means but he's starting to understand why Hakyeon is bringing this up. “You want me to make… a brother?”

“Someone familiar.” Hakyeon walks up to the chest piece and touches where the heart would go. “Someone… When everything is awful, I just want to come home and see them and they can make me happy again.”

Hongbin scratches his cheek, pulling out the journal Hongbin gifted him for his birthday. Someone to make them happy, someone whose smile can light up the room, someone who can make them feel like coming home is worth it. Hakyeon is already that to Hongbin but he understand what he means. They need… 

“Someone shaped like a friend?” Hongbin laughs, scanning his notes.

“Exactly like that,” Hakyeon smiles, leaning over his shoulder and pointing out drafts that he likes or that they can modify together. Hongbin pulls out a green gel pen, not realising but draws with it and Hakyeon nods to the colour, saying it’s the right one. It’s the one they need.

 

***

 

It has to be obvious.

It’s obvious to Hongbin and it’s _never_ obvious to Hongbin. He doesn’t get feelings. He’s never had a crush in his damn life, never chimed in with the boys at school about the cutest girl in class. Actors are handsome, he assumes, but he has no interest in it, really. The girls giggling in his classes about how handsome he is doesn’t make sense either. 

Point is, Hongbin doesn’t care much for appearances. But he does care about how Hakyeon sees him.

At first, he thought it was because he created Hakyeon. He thought that he should impress Hakyeon so that he doesn’t think a dumbass created him but Hakyeon never once has judged him. He holds Hongbin’s hand and sleeps in the same bed with him when it’s really hard at night. He doesn’t bully Hongbin for his nightmares but instead soothes him when Hongbin wakes up crying. He looks away when Hongbin has to fix his wiring and smiles when Hongbin flushes red in embarrassment at Hakyeon’s bare chest.

Hakyeon is sweet and thinking about him isn’t new. Thinking about him all day is.

Hakyeon has always been on his mind ever since he discovered him. When he woke up, he was on Hongbin’s mind twenty-four-seven considering he was sixteen with a fucking cyborg in his mother’s basement. But now, he’s in university and living in and out of home and a new apartment with Hakyeon by his side and he can’t stop thinking about Hakyeon in ways he probably shouldn’t.

It’s stupid, isn’t it? But Hakyeon is just as human as anyone else. He absorbs memories of other people and forms his own story before Hongbin’s eyes, telling him of his adventures. He doesn’t go out much out of fear of being identified as a cyborg and Hongbin doesn’t blame him but Hakyeon can comfortably grocery shop with his mother when they have to with no problems. He’s introduced as Hongbin’s cousin when people ask and that’s enough for everyone.

It’s ridiculous how much Hongbin thinks about Hakyeon. _Ridiculous!_

When Hongbin broke his arm last year, it was Hakyeon that helped him recover. The bone was shattered and they didn’t have the money to go to the hospital. Hongbin had shattered it from falling down the stairs and fractured his collarbone along the way. Hakyeon put him on bedrest and made him a metal splint. As it turns out, Hongbin had to go to the hospital to put himself back together and his aunty had paid the bills for him. With a metal rod in his arm, Hakyeon had helped him with everything he needed, even when Hongbin had just been whining to annoy him.

“You’re such a baby,” Hakyeon had said, shaking his head and Hongbin lost his mind at how soft he looked, it was _disgusting._

Hongbin’s arm has some metal in it now and he’s still not over his crush after two years. He hates that the more he thinks about it, the further back it stems. He’s probably liked Hakyeon since he was seventeen, he’s just too stupid to realise what being friends and _liking_ someone feels like.

There’s no way Hakyeon doesn’t know. He sleeps next to him some nights for God’s sake. There’s not a chance he hasn’t heard Hongbin mumble some bullshit while high on flu medicine in the last two years.

Hongbin watches Hakyeon cross from one side of the lab to the other and hates that his stomach flips at the sight of him because Hakyeon is wearing one of his sweaters. He needs more clothes but if they get more clothes, Hongbin won’t get to see this and he hates that more than he hates the feeling in his gut.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you keep scowling,” Hakyeon says, picking a book from the shelf and scanning the cover. Knowing Hongbin, it’s probably manga. “What’s wrong? You look like someone force fed you a lemon.”

“Have you experienced that?” Hongbin asks, scoffing. He tucks himself into his table and pulls on his headphones. He’ll just ignore it and it will go away.

Hakyeon raises an eyebrow and Hongbin has politely avoided commenting on his new haircut, too. His hair is as long as it’s ever been and it’s black, a little wavy and he looks pretty but Hongbin isn’t going to tell him. There’s not a chance he doesn’t already know.

“Hongbin,” Hakyeon says, sitting down on the chair next to him so he can stare at him. He’s really good at that but Hongbin is really good at ignoring him. “Look at me.”

It doesn’t work for long. Hongbin is just a man and Hakyeon is Hakyeon so he wrenches off his headset and spits, _“What?”_

“You’re not as smart as you think, are you?” Hakyeon says, rolling his eyes. “Do you think gaming is going to fix your problems? It won’t so what’s _wrong,_ Hongbin?”

“Don’t say your name like you’re scolding me,” he fires back, clicking out of his game so he doesn’t have to look at Hakyeon. He’d rather not have this conversation but Hakyeon is nothing if not perceptive and if he says they’re having the conversation, it’s the end of story for Hongbin.

Hakyeon’s eyes are blue when Hongbin looks at him, a stark reminder of what he is but he blinks, calm and waiting for Hongbin to speak when he’s ready, something people don’t really do for him. If he has something to say, he’ll say it but he doesn’t like being forced to spit things out which Hakyeon knows.

Hongbin looks back to his computer, pulling up Hakyeon’s vitals for no other reason than he needs something to do, to keep his hands busy, or he’s going to start freaking out. What if this screws everything up? If Hakyeon doesn’t feel the same then he simply doesn’t feel the same. Hongbin won’t push him but what will they do? They live together, they see each other every day. 

“I’m worried,” Hongbin says finally, eyes fixed on the computer in front of him. “I’m… I don’t know if I want to tell you.”

Hakyeon sits back in his chair, drawing away so he can pull Hongbin too and they sit together in the middle of the room, away from the computer and the books. Away from anything Hongbin can use to distract himself. Hakyeon takes his hands and holds them in his lap, staring at him with waiting eyes.

“Why don’t you want to tell me?” he asks quietly, ducking his head when Hongbin tries to look away from him. “Is it about me?”

Hongbin nods, not uttering a word.

“Do you want me to leave…?” Hakyeon asks, hesitantly and Hongbin shakes his head furiously, dismissing any issues that could arise from that. He never wants Hakyeon to leave him, even if it’s awkward between them. He never wants to stop loving Hakyeon, even if it’s in a different way than he thought originally.

“I don’t want what I want,” Hongbin says, ducking his head. “I just…” He looks up to the ceiling, squeezing Hakyeon’s hands to get him through and blurts out, “I think I have feelings for you.”

Hakyeon stares blankly at him for a moment, processing and when he does, his face splits into a grin, pretty and perfect. “I could have told you that,” he says and Hongbin cringes. He really was that obvious, wasn’t he?

Hongbin shakes his head, trying to pull away from Hakyeon’s grasp. He feels needy for no reason, Hakyeon doesn’t owe him shit, and he wants this conversation to be over so they can move through the awkward phase and get over it. 

But Hakyeon doesn’t let him go. He plants his feet on the ground so that Hongbin can’t pull him too and holds him there, meeting Hongbin’s gaze and kisses him which is honestly the last thing Hongbin expected so he just sits there, stunned.

“I think you’re supposed to do it back,” Hakyeon whispers when he pulls away a fraction. He’s not judging and he’s not embarrassed. Hongbin feels like he’s on fire but when Hakyeon kisses him again, he returns it as best as he can, flushing hard when Hakyeon’s hands cup his cheeks and makes him shiver. Hakyeon is never warm and Hongbin is shocked by it every time but it’s not unpleasant. He likes it, actually, and presses closer to Hakyeon to kiss him firmly.

It’s simple, like it always is with them and when Hakyeon pulls away, almost falling off his chair from the way that Hongbin is halfway into his lap, they smile sheepishly at each other. Hakyeon is everything Hongbin has ever wanted and he’s always had him, right in his heart. He just didn’t know it yet but Hakyeon is his pride and joy, his heart and soul and Hongbin kisses him again, hoping it’s enough to tell him because God knows he’d never be able to say it out loud.

But Hakyeon knows. He smiles against Hongbin’s lips and holds him like he’s something delicate, sitting back up so he doesn’t fall to the ground and Hongbin leans his forehead against his, closing his eyes.

“I’ve known for a while,” Hakyeon admits, running his fingers through Hongbin’s hair. “You stare a lot.”

Hongbin shakes his head in denial but Hakyeon smiles, tipping his head up to kiss his cheeks and nose until Hongbin cringes and scrunches up his shoulders. Of course he’s known, there’s not way he couldn’t have known but Hongbin now is just happy that he does know, that he feels the same. They’ll have to talk about a lot of things, things that neither of them want to speak about but for now, it’s wonderful and lovely and Hongbin kisses Hakyeon again when he’s done talking, Hakyeon’s heart rate picking up on the screen that Hongbin ignores.

He only cares for Hakyeon. Hakyeon is his one and only love and he will never stop loving him.


	3. three

It’s a Tuesday night, Hakyeon upstairs with his mother cooking. Hongbin can hear them laughing and he's just finished his small motorised robotics project two weeks earlier than it’s due. All he has to do is finish off his progress statement and he’s done for the semester. He acts aloof in class, like he’s struggling a little so that the teacher won't think he’s advanced somehow and it works for the most part. He's painfully average at classwork but his hard work pays off in assignments, making him top of his game.

The cyborg that Hakyeon brought up to him is coming together in front of him, much faster than he anticipated. He thought that because Hakyeon took two years to finish and even longer to get fully functioning, that this cyborg would be the same. But the cyborg -- that Hakyeon named Jaehwan -- has a face already, a straight nose that's bigger than usual but that's what makes him more human. Hakyeon’s face is round and his skin is darker than most but it’s authentic. He looks different and that's what helps them along. Hongbin is already excited for Jaehwan to wake up because it will be sooner rather than later, in the next few weeks if he plays his cards right.

Jaehwan is tall, a little taller than Hakyeon but not by much and he doesn't have a left arm at this point in time. It’s easy to make the parts for his limbs so Hongbin has poured himself into Jaehwan’s heart and brain and voice, giving him character as Hakyeon encourages him. Jaehwan will be around a year older than Hongbin, two years younger than Hakyeon. 

Hongbin makes his colour green. Hakyeon is blue, simple as can be but it fits him well. Jaehwan is green because green to Hongbin is new life in nature, is new beginnings and something to look forward to.

Hakyeon comes down to give him dinner but returns upstairs to eat with his mother as Hongbin works. Jaehwan’s heart is almost done and he checks the wiring, matching the currents up and planting the device into Jaehwan’s chest, closing the cavity.

He turns back to his computer to read the transmissions but there's… none. The heart doesn't respond to him even though it was working five minutes ago. 

Hongbin frowns, glancing back at Jaehwan but nothing is unplugged from the spine. There's a thick cable connected to the base of Jaehwan’s neck for his brain and Hongbin unplugs it, thinking the circuits have overridden each other and his brain is blocking the heart’s transmissions.

The same happened when Hakyeon woke up.

The power goes out but instead of blue, everything is _green._

Hongbin isn't afraid this time. Jaehwan has no intention to hurt him and he only has one arm. He won't hurt him and Hongbin knows, oh, he knows so much it hurts and when Jaehwan opens his eyes, pure green and unblinking, Hongbin cries.

Jaehwan blinks and the lights turn back on. Hongbin isn't sobbing, his tears just falling like a black and white movie and Jaehwan’s hand reaches out for his cheek, the gears sounding out and clicking into place. Hongbin steps forward and Jaehwan pulls him in for a one armed hug, his laugh sounding off in his chest.

“Why are you crying?” he asks, his voice glitching at the start but settling into how Hongbin imagined it. “I don't understand. You should be happy now that I’m awake.”

 _Awake,_ he says, just like Hakyeon. Hongbin smiles, Jaehwan’s chest not yet covered and he can see the little balls of green flying through his wires. It’s beautiful like he knew it would be and Jaehwan hums, making his heart slow to a steady rhythm.

“I am happy,” Hongbin replies, looking up at him as he steps away. “I’m crying because I’m happy that you're here.”

“Don't cry,” Jaehwan pouts, looking impossibly cute. “Crying isn't good. You should be happy now.”

“I am,” Hongbin laughs, shaking his head. “Don't worry, Jaehwan. You know that's your name?”

Jaehwan hums, looking at his hand with interest. “You're Hongbinnie.”

Hongbin snorts in surprise, wiping his cheeks. He simply nods and helps Jaehwan to his feet so that he's not relying on the stand Hongbin uses to stabilize as he builds. Jaehwan stands well on his own and squints at his hand.

“My other hand,” is all he says before he moves towards Hongbin’s tool table and pulls apart the hand model that Hongbin has lying on the table. It’s hard since he only has one hand but Jaehwan gives things to Hongbin to hold. He moves quickly and Hongbin screws in things when Jaehwan says so, the two of them working together in harmony. After an hour or so, Jaehwan holds up the finished arm and Hongbin slots it into his shoulder socket, seeing Jaehwan’s vitals on the computer change to indicate that his wiring has been tampered with and replaced with something else. 

Hongbin overrides the computer commands and Jaehwan’s left arm on the 3D model in his computer rotates, showing that the model is complete and Jaehwan has full function in both arms. 

From the neck up, Jaehwan is covered but the rest of his body is smooth plastic and wiring underneath. Hongbin has some clothes that Jaehwan pulls on quickly, a pink hoodie and sweatpants and Jaehwan smiles at him, petting his hair when Hongbin collapses back into his chair, suddenly exhausted.

“Where’s Hakyeon?” Jaehwan asks, surprisingly and Hongbin grins, standing up and pulling Jaehwan by his wrist to the door leading upstairs.

Hakyeon is going to love him.

Hongbin already loves him.

 

***

 

Hongbin turns twenty the year that Jaehwan wakes up.

Hongbin officially moves out of his mother’s house, moving into a bigger apartment with Jaehwan and Hakyeon listed as his roommates. Hakyeon is unemployed whilst Jaehwan works part time at a phone repair store. His skills are good and he's the only one there that can replace a phone screen in under twenty minutes. No one suspects much since Hakyeon keeps a close eye on Jaehwan and Hongbin teaches him as to be _human._

“I don't get it,” Jaehwan complains often, usually after Hongbin tells him that what he's doing is too much like a cyborg and not enough like a human. It’s only because he fears for him but Jaehwan, unlike Hakyeon, has a mighty short temper. “Why do I have to hide myself? I’m advanced so wouldn't it be good to see cyborgs like me out in the public?”

Hakyeon doesn't bother explaining it. He can't, not really, especially since he still doesn’t venture out into the world unless it’s with Hongbin. He knows the risks and he’d rather not take them, not like Jaehwan who wanted nothing more than to explore the world and see it with his own two eyes.

“It’s a difficult world,” Hongbin says, sitting down on the couch. “People… There isn’t a lot of people out there who think like you and I, Jaehwan. So we have to be careful.”

“But it’s _stupid,”_ he whines, shaking his head. They were supposed to just have a good night together, Hakyeon’s cooking for dinner and Hongbin finished his work early so he wouldn’t be busy. His assignments had been kicking his ass but pulling an all nighter and getting his shit done got him cleared for tonight as well as most of tomorrow, just as he promised Hakyeon. Hakyeon likes to have family dinner when they can and Jaehwan always races home so he’s in time to set the table and chatter on about his day while Hakyeon cooks. It’s a good routine and especially since Hongbin moved out, it’s good to come home to what feels like a family rather than nothing else.

But these conversation plague them. If Hongbin is ever found out, there’s a high chance there will be a riot. His family, including Hakyeon and Jaehwan, will be targeted and either he’ll be locked up or killed, along with Hakyeon and Jaehwan. It’s a dangerous game, considering humans don’t like not knowing everything about everyone at first glance. If they’re not the ones on top, the smartest things in the galaxy, they’ll kill whatever stands in their way to get back to their position.

“There’s got to be someone out there who thinks like you,” Jaehwan says, pulling out his phone. Hongbin doesn’t know what he’s searching for but he encrypted their internet so no one can spy on them so it’s not like he can warn Jaehwan not to get caught. 

“I think there is,” Hakyeon says, setting down the plates at the table and clicking his fingers. “Put your phone down. We’re having dinner.”

“Only Hongbin eats,” Jaehwan says, standing up with his eyes glued to his phone. “Oh, wait, did you get the nice water?”

Hakyeon hums and throws him a bottle from the fridge. It’s a water bottle with fruits and such in it and even if he can’t drink it, Jaehwan likes to watch it and whines when Hongbin refuses to tell him what it tastes like. 

“What about…” Jaehwan sits down, scanning his phone while Hakyeon sits down too, staring at him. “Ugh, actually, did you know that they don’t teach cybernetic enhancements in med school? My coworker told me today. She went through pre-med for her parents before dropping out and apparently, the doctors are really rude about it. They say people with enhancements are just as bad as cyborgs and that it’s a doctor’s responsibility to ‘fix’ them if they encounter someone like that.”

Hakyeon looks down and Hongbin rolls his eyes. It’s not surprising that Jaehwan has brought it up to them but it feels a lot like they’re about to scold their child for acting out in school. 

“I don’t have to tell you again,” Hakyeon says before Hongbin can speak. “You know the risks, Jaehwan. I know you know them. So, what did you say to bring up the conversation to her?”

Jaehwan doesn’t reply for a moment but he locks his phone and looks up at Hakyeon, his eyes glowing and green. “She brought it up,” he says simply, smiling. “Cybernetic enhancements are frowned upon even in humans who need prosthetic limbs. Hongbin wouldn’t be able to pass if someone knew about his arm.”

Hongbin levels his gaze with Jaehwan’s, lifting his eyebrow. They don’t much about what he did. He shattered his arm two years ago and since it never recovered fully, he made a decision to fix the problem. His body wasn’t going to heal on its own but a body like Hakyeon’s and Jaehwan’s would. Hongbin had the arm already and Jaehwan helped him modify it to fit his proportions. It’s not often that you have to ask a nondescript doctor to amputate your arm from just below the elbow but Hongbin did a year ago. He made the choice to live without pain in his arm and Hakyeon had only wished him the best, unsure of the situation.

“Then it’s a good thing no one knows,” Hongbin says, spearing his fork into his food. “Right, Jaehwan?”

“No one knows,” he says, back to his phone. “It’s hard to know. You’re human in every other way, just like me.” He smiles again and winks at Hongbin back to his phone when Hongbin clicks his tongue.

When Jaehwan has retired for the night, Hakyeon catches Hongbin in the kitchen, scowling at him. Hakyeon doesn’t get angry often and he rarely does it in front of anyone but right now, he’s upset and it appears to be Hongbin’s fault.

“Why do you talk about it as if it’s just another thing that you did?” he hisses but he holds Hongbin’s hand, their wirings complimenting each other when they glow under their skin. Hongbin’s wiring is purple, darker than Hakyeon’s blue but still beautiful together. He didn’t do it on purpose but when he realised, he smiled at it and flexed his new hand, the wirings firing off and reaching his nerves.

“Because it is,” Hongbin replies, squeezing Hakyeon’s hand reassuringly. “I was in pain and I fixed it.”

“You put yourself at risk,” Hakyeon says, looking at their hands. “You- You can’t mark yourself as human anymore and if you’re caught, what will you do? You’ll be questioned and if you’re killed, what will they do with everything else?”

“I won’t be killed,” Hongbin whispers, tipping Hakyeon’s face up. He’d never let anything happen to Hakyeon or Jaehwan if he was ever in danger. “You’re smart but also very stupid sometimes, Hakyeon. I won’t be killed so don’t panic.” He grins, catching Hakyeon’s gaze. “I’m a doctor, aren’t I?”

“Not yet,” Hakyeon retorts, rolling his eyes. He lets Hongbin kiss him until he turns his head, still having something to say even though Hongbin is kissing his jaw. “You’re ridiculous. Just… Be careful.”

“You tell me that every day before I leave,” Hongbin says, gently making Hakyeon face him so he can kiss him properly. “I’m always safe. I’m not as dumb as you think.”

Hakyeon hums, letting himself be kissed. They don’t argue much but it usually ends with either of them ignoring the other for a few hours before one of them apologises stubbornly and they work through it. It takes Hakyeon longer, especially since negative emotions tire him out beyond all belief. When he gets angry, the grudge lasts and he won’t apologise for his actions until he’s been ‘put to sleep’ as he calls it. It’s not quite sleep but it’s not a complete shutdown of his systems. It’s like a forced sleep and he usually does it to recharge himself and his heart before he returns, back to normal vitals and hugs Hongbin, whispering to him.

“Be careful,” Hakyeon repeats, stroking his cold thumbs over Hongbin’s cheekbones. “I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re not with me.”

Hongbin smiles, his hands snug on Hakyeon’s hips and keeping him close. He doesn’t know what he’d do either. Probably go insane but he doesn’t say that. Hakyeon very much knows.

 

***

 

They live normally.

Jaehwan has a job. Hongbin has university. Hakyeon has errands he runs for all of them.

Jaehwan comes home in a flurry of curse words but hugs Hakyeon in the kitchen when he’s had a bad day. Hakyeon knows his way around his anatomy and Jaehwan’s and helps to power him down when his days get especially bad, when Jaehwan doesn’t smile because he’s on low energy. Hongbin comes home late when he has to and kisses Hakyeon goodnight before collapsing in bed for the night.

They miss the dinners but it’s not like it really bothers anyone. Hakyeon and Jaehwan don’t eat and Hongbin sometimes isn’t home to even eat the meals that Hakyeon cooks but they all understand. It’s a stressful time, especially doing exam season but Hongbin finishes with flying colours, asking to go out just for the night so they can have fun and explore the city.

Hakyeon books a table at a Japanese restaurant, ordering in Japanese since it’s difficult to communicate with the waitress without the language and Hongbin can’t keep his eyes off him when he speaks, smiling when Hakyeon and the girl share a joke even if he doesn’t understand it. He’s so tired, it’s not funny but he wants a good night.

Jaehwan shows Hongbin photos of a computer he’s working on modifying and they talk on and on about what he can do to fix it. There’s routine checks at his work for cybernetics but Jaehwan passes and he never hurts himself in a way that can’t be masked. He’s okay and Hongbin smiles at him proudly, squeezing his hand from across the table.

Hakyeon has been looking for a job as well. He’s gotten into candle making and there are some pottery places on the outskirts of town that are looking for apprentices and Hakyeon is already looking into applying for it. It’s more low key and something he’s comfortable with, with people who won’t question him too much, with people who don’t see a need to.

“Congratulations on passing your exams,” Hakyeon says when the drinks arrive. There’s only a few bowls of nibbles in the centre of the table since it’s more a bar than anything and it won’t be questioned much if only Hongbin eats. Neither Hakyeon and Jaehwan have a digestive system but they can smell food so it’s easy to keep up appearances. Jaehwan doesn’t go out with his coworkers much but he can drink if he wants to, it just doesn’t do anything for him. Hongbin thought ahead for him in that aspect and Hakyeon is the same, making them appear human wherever he could.

Hakyeon puts his arm around Hongbin as they talk, protective and comforting and Jaehwan comments on the television above the bar, cheering on whatever soccer game is on. Hongbin watches too, completely lost but Hakyeon’s arm around him keeps him grounded and he smiles into his beer bottle, his eyes watering.

“I love you,” he says to Hakyeon, staring up at him with wide eyes. It’s not like they haven’t said it before but Hongbin is realising just why he loves Hakyeon so much and it’s in moments like this, simple and untainted by anything where they can just exist together without any expectations.

Hakyeon tilts his head at him and smiles. The downside of going out means that he can’t kiss Hongbin in public but he presses their foreheads together and sighs. “I love you, too. You know it.”

“I do,” Hongbin whispers, Jaehwan pointedly ignoring them by screaming at the television, slumping dramatically into the booth when whatever team he was rooting for misses a goal. He acts like it’s the end of the world and pulls out his wallet, throwing bills on the table and turning his nose up at it.

“We’re leaving,” Jaehwan says, slamming his hand on the table. “I can’t endure this slander.”

“Name one player on that team,” Hakyeon retorts, sliding out of the booth. Jaehwan doesn’t answer, crossing his arms over his chest and Hakyeon pats his cheek sweetly, pouting mockingly at him. When Hongbin stands, Hakyeon not so subtly takes his wrist and leads him out of the bar, holding his hand when the bus comes and sends them back home.

Hongbin almost falls asleep in Hakyeon’s arms on the bus and he’s piggybacked back to the apartment, Jaehwan opening the doors for Hakyeon and he keeps Hakyeon close despite his cold temperature, asleep and safe in Hakyeon’s grasp as Jaehwan snaps a photo of them and goes to bed himself.

 

***

 

While Jaehwan has the ability to work quickly and understand any kind of wiring or electronics, Hakyeon has a more human ability. 

Hakyeon can absorb memories.

He’s always been able to and it’s how he replicates human emotion so well, how he knows Hongbin like the back of his hand. He knows how people work and how he himself works in intricate detail. He knows Hongbin better than he knows himself at times and Hakyeon is incredibly smart, more than he lets on.

There’s been many times that Hakyeon has recalled a memory from Hongbin that he wasn’t present for and has told Jaehwan things he seemed to have forgotten about his co-workers without hesitation. He doesn’t really forget much and that fact is a stubborn one when he’s in a fight with someone. He doesn’t need physical proof; he just needs his memory and it’s game over for everyone.

It’s useful in a lot of cases. He never needs to write things down or document them, really. He just remembers and does it like it’s a second language to him. He reminds Hongbin of assignments that he has to do when he forgets and remembers to wake Jaehwan up after certain hours so that he can go to work and isn’t too groggy so he can take the bus to work safely.

But it has its downsides too.

Hakyeon can become randomly emotional in the middle of the grocery store from a child sobbing about something that Hongbin doesn’t pay attention to. He masks it well but he can feel the mother’s pain sometimes and it hurts him more than he explains. He senses Hongbin’s emotions well and knows his nightmares before Hongbin explains them in the dead of night, black tears already in his eyes.

Hakyeon talks of random things sometimes, things they’ve never heard him say before and it sounds like a past life when he speaks. Usually the stories make him and Jaehwan laugh but Jaehwan is away at work when Hakyeon breaks down in the bathroom, sobbing into his knees and unable to get the words out as Hongbin holds him, cradling him protectively and trying to shush him.

“Humans are weak,” Hakyeon says after an hour passes, his tears staining his cheeks. Hongbin screwed up something in his tear ducts because Hakyeon only cries black tears whilst Jaehwan’s are normal, only tinged with green on the odd occasion.

“Why are humans so weak?”

Hongbin crosses his legs, stretching out as much as he can. It’s not a question he can answer and Hakyeon knows that but is it something to cry over? Humans are fickle, end of. But it’s never that black and white for Hakyeon.

“They die so easily. Even children.” Hakyeon takes a shuddering breath. “Why… For such an advanced society, why are you so fickle? When will I lose you?”

“Not any time soon.” Hongbin is newly twenty years old. If he plays his cards right by God, he won’t be going for a long time and with his knowledge of enhancements, there’s a possibility he won’t ever leave. He thinks he’d like that, to spend a long time with Hakyeon and Jaehwan, safe in their own little world.

“What’s wrong?” Hongbin whispers, ducking his head to lean his forehead against Hakyeon’s. “You never cry. What happened?”

Hakyeon closes his eyes and Hongbin wipes a stray tear from the corner of his eye. “I thought that… It was someone at work today. She hadn’t told anyone but she lost her daughter two months ago. She lives alone and her daughter was the only family she has but she… Her daughter was hit by a car. I came home early because it hurt me so much and I don’t even know her.” He screws up his face, scowling. “If it hurt me that badly, can you imagine how it felt for the mother? And she still went to work, pretending everything was normal. Why would she do that?”

“She’s alone,” Hongbin says simply but it’s not that easy. It never is. “Her daughter was the only one she had. She might rather be at work, surrounded by normalcy, then alone and thinking of it.”

Humans are confusing. Everyone knows it, even Hongbin who doesn’t care much for it. Why do kids bully each other? Why do leaders start wars? Why do people kill others? Humans are weak and strong at the same time but they’re horribly stupid whilst others can be smart. Too many people are in danger for no reason and the society that Hongbin grew up in hates people like Hakyeon and Jaehwan. They hate what they choose not to understand, what they fear and want enraticated. Humans are horribly judgemental and it doesn’t take a genius to notice that. Even if Hakyeon was just a man, a man that Hongbin loves which he is, humans have their say. People would much prefer him to be with a woman than a man. Not to mention, the man he loves is a literal cyborg but the details don’t matter. 

Humans hate what they don’t understand.

Hakyeon swallows, rubbing his eye. “Everything I feel… Some of it belongs to me but what I feel for others hurts me. I love you too much to let you go and every time Jaehwan walks out that door, I feel sick. I feel so helpless for no reason, even when I know that nothing will stop either of you from coming home to me.”

“You are fearful,” Hongbin says, kissing his forehead. “It’s understandable. Every time I leave for university, I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of Jaehwan. We live in danger but that doesn’t mean we’re _wrong.”_ He takes Hakyeon’s face in his hands and kisses him once, softly. “Being scared makes you human. I don’t know if that’s a good thing but it’s something.”

Hakyeon snorts, kissing Hongbin back quickly. “I don’t know if it does. But neither do you and you’re human.” He sighs, looking down. “I felt like we needed Jaehwan and now… Oh, it’s all weird.”

Hongbin pulls him close, Hakyeon tucking his head under his chin. “Talk to me, then. When it’s hard or when it’s not. Just talk to me.”

Hakyeon wraps his arms around him, in one of Jaehwan’s hoodies this time and Hongbin shivers when he does but finds comfort in Hakyeon’s never changing temperature. It’s pleasant to know that Hakyeon is a constant in his life, in more way than one, the same way Hongbin is a constant in his life.

“We’ll make it through,” Hongbin whispers into his hair, holding him impossibly closer. “We always do.”

 

***

They go back to his mother’s house when Hongbin gets his mid year holidays. He’ll be twenty-one in a few months and it feels like his university life has been a whirlwind but he’s almost done. Another year or so and he’ll be finished, equip with a degree in behavioural sciences as well as mechanics and computer sciences. It’s a good balance considering he works with Hakyeon and Jaehwan on a daily basis which is good research to subtly slip into his research, never mentioning them directly or that the study is his own.

His mother greets him warmly and they all sit and have dinner even if Jaehwan just sings for most of it to annoy Hongbin and then cozies up to his mother for no reason. Jaehwan stays upstairs watching television in the living room when his mother goes to bed while Hongbin and Hakyeon return to the lab downstairs, dusting some things off and enjoying the simple company. Hongbin has new computers in their apartment so everything he left here is still present, untouched and he boots up the desktop to the vital screenings and smiles at it all.

Hakyeon looks through the shelves like he always does, picking out books and reading them as Hongbin does whatever he can think of on the computer. After a while, he fiddles with some old wiring he has lying out to see if he can get any transmissions from it. It’s simple and mind numbing work while Hakyeon wanders around, mind occupied elsewhere.

Hongbin sticks his tongue out of his mouth as he works, occasionally glancing up at the vitals on screen and the bot he’s using in another window to do the skill work in his running game. Hakyeon stands close by, closing his book and when he speaks, Hongbin startles.

“I want a baby.”

Hongbin electrocutes himself with the wiring he's trying to fuse together and he spins his chair in shock, looking up at Hakyeon who stares at him, his blue eyes unblinking. He doesn't look upset or offended but he does look like he doesn't understand why Hongbin had such a visceral reaction to that statement.

“You- What?” Hongbin breathes, flexing his fingers on his pants. His skin tingles from the electrical burn but he’s not in pain. “Hakyeon, what are you talking about?”

“The memories,” he says, sitting down effortlessly in the chair next to Hongbin. His posture is impossibly straight, not even an outcome because of the chair having a back now. Hakyeon is shaped like a dancer, lithe and pretty and his posture has always been immaculate. “I can feel them. They're everywhere and they tell me things- I want to… I _need_ something else.”

“Hakyeon, I can't just-” Hongbin scrunches up his face. He's almost twenty-one, has been loving Hakyeon since he was seventeen, and still, he's stumped by him. He’s never had to teach Hakyeon about these things because Hakyeon just understands. Understands how it works between them, what they both like. Hongbin has never had to teach him about _reproduction._ “That's not how it works between two men. I can't- It’s physically impossible.”

“That's not what I’m asking,” Hakyeon spits, smacking Hongbin’s shoulder. “Of course I know that! I’m not talking about pregnancy, you idiot. You created me and Jaehwan. Can you make someone else?” He looks down at his fingers, the blue currents firing off under his artificial skin, looking like a watercolour. He is blue, Hongbin is purple, Jaehwan is green. Somehow, they all have their colours, intertwining and beautiful all at once.

Hongbin looks up at him, looks at the one he's loved for so long and sees the tears in his eyes, panic washing over him. Hakyeon shakes his head, his tears forever black and staining as they drip onto his pants. “Is it wrong that three isn't enough? I want another. And one more. I _need_ more than us, Hongbin. Something is wrong- I’m selfish and it’s not-”

“It’s not selfish,” Hongbin says, taking his hand. His tears stain Hongbin’s hands, mixing with the grease already there but neither of them mind, Hakyeon’s cheek soft but cold like it always is. Jaehwan is constantly warm, brimming with energy but Hakyeon has always been cold to the touch but all the more comforting. “Hakyeon, it’s not, trust me. I’ll… You'll have to guide me, okay? If the memories you've absorbed are speaking to you, you have to be the creator, too.”

Hakyeon blinks at him and the smile that graces his features is nothing short of blinding, pure joy that Hongbin never taught him; Hakyeon was the joy he never had when he was younger and now, his joy is Hongbin’s. He’ll give him anything to keep Hakyeon by his side, just like always. 

“I can,” he breathes, kissing Hongbin finally, his touch literally and figuratively electric. “I can do that. Can I do that?”

“You can do anything,” Hongbin reassures, smiling at him as Hakyeon rubs their noses together. “You know you can. You're amazing.”

“I am,” Hakyeon laughs, kissing him sweetly. “I made myself amazing.”

Because he did. Hongbin didn't preprogram him to do anything, to love him or act the way he does. Hakyeon molded himself out of whatever Hongbin input into his brain and built his internal being to suit himself, his personality exceeding anything Hongbin could have ever created. He is so utterly human that Hongbin is surprised, taken back by him. He's everything Hongbin could only dream of and he's in front of him, loving him and teaching him more than Hongbin could have ever taught Hakyeon.

“You are,” Hongbin confirms again, smiling as Hakyeon peppers kisses all over his face, only the skin slowly knitting itself back together from when he split his cheek open. “And you're mine.”

“So long as you're mine,” Hakyeon smiles, speaking into his jaw more than anything. “All mine.”


	4. four

All of Hongbin’s cyborgs start out differently.

Hakyeon was a spark, his physical body completed before he had ran a test and Hakyeon had sprung to life, towering over Hongbin and scaring him until he found his voice and his intimidation turned to odd curiosity and undisturbed beauty. 

Jaehwan had been an old arm and chest piece Hongbin had scraped but slowly started to rebuild, his body and mind stemming from Hongbin’s need for a friend, someone to take care of him in ways Hakyeon couldn't. He wanted an older brother and Hakyeon didn't fit the quota. Hakyeon wanted a younger brother and Hongbin didn’t fit the quota. They weren’t supposed to. When Jaehwan had woken up, he had hugged Hongbin as he cried, unsure as to why he wanted to but held him close and patted his hair. 

Hongbin has created them for himself, for him to love them and for them to love him in return, to live for whatever they want to be. He would never force them to stay but Hakyeon found love in him and showed it to him, and Jaehwan got a job but always came home to them, cuddling Hongbin when his nightmares were too awful to handle. They worked in harmony and Jaehwan had completed his own body by himself, assisting Hongbin when he struggled with his projects for university. Hakyeon is the head of the house and Jaehwan is the brains, the moodmaker while Hongbin is the creator, loving and diligent.

Sanghyuk is different. 

From the first time that Hongbin enighted the spark that would be Han Sanghyuk, he was always going to be different. He was the youngest, made to be the youngest but he was always going to be far from it. Sanghyuk was made to be the youth Hongbin never received, never lived. Hakyeon made his spark into a flame and Sanghyuk was born, different than the rest with electricity in his fingers, his heart beating faster than Hongbin had ever programmed it to.

Hongbin locks Hakyeon out of the laboratory when he decides to wake Sanghyuk up. Should anything go wrong, it’s Hongbin that will deal with it like it always is. He did the same with Jaehwan and it’s only necessary that he does the same with Sanghyuk. It’s a few days after Hakyeon’s birthday so Hongbin hopes that this will work. It will be a nice surprise for them all.

Sanghyuk is a boy in every sense of the word. He’s youthful and Hakyeon insisted that he had blonde hair and so he does, styled and pretty. Sanghyuk’s shoulders are broad and he’s tall, taller than any of them but still young, boyish and handsome. His voice is cute, too and Jaehwan is already excited for him, his vitals wild on the screen from the anxiety. Hongbin isn’t going to screw this up, though. He’s been working on Sanghyuk for a year and a half now and he can feel it in his gut that this is the night he brings Sanghyuk to life.

The night that Sanghyuk becomes a part of their family.

Hongbin is prepared for the blackout this time. When the lights switch off, one of them in the corner bursting from the intensity of it, he’s in front of Sanghyuk and waiting with his hands clenching nervously. His wrist twitches, the only movement in the room coming from him but he grins when the colours of Sanghyuk’s wirings spark up under his skin and travels all over his body, a network of life running through his chest, his face, his arms, his everything.

When he opens his eyes, colours Hongbin has never seen before or even can comprehend flash in front of him, Sanghyuk’s eyes welling with tears that spill red, orange, blue, black, pure white. He doesn't sob or open his mouth, his jaw still smooth plastic and the wires inside firing off as he takes in his surrounding with just his eyes. 

Hongbin stares at him and Sanghyuk blinks, recognition crossing his eyes and he smiles, boyish and innocent. His teeth are almost too big for his mouth but Hongbin smiles back at him, crescent eyes and dimples. He can barely breathe, too relieved by Sanghyuk waking up that his eyes well up, tears spilling down his cheeks. He cried when Hakyeon woke up, same with Jaehwan. It’s only expected that he does the same for Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk’s shoulders flex but he doesn’t have arms to reach out with, his tears still coming and Hongbin touches him first, touching his shoulders as he smiles at him, sniffing. Sanghyuk watches him, his tears stopping as a deep blue and Hongbin wipes his face, resting their foreheads together in a way he hopes is comforting.

“Hyung?” comes Sanghyuk’s voice, deep and different, and Hongbin smiles at him again, encouraging. “Hongbin-hyung is you?”

“That’s me,” Hongbin whispers, smoothing down Sanghyuk’s hair at the back of his head. “Your name is Sanghyuk. Do you understand?”

Sanghyuk nods, swallowing thickly. “I would... “ He looks over at the desk with questioning eyes and Hongbin snorts at the implication. “Can I have my arms?”

Hongbin grabs them a little too quickly, the right one fitting into Sanghyuk’s shoulder socket beautifully. In seconds, he’s able to stretch out his arm and flex his fingers, the gears flicking around and his arm lighting up orange and green before glowing faintly blue, yellow sparking up and over taking. His left arm sparks yellow too, Sanghyuk stretching them out in front of him. His fingers flex, the artificial skin yet to be placed on his arms but he smiles at Hongbin again, joyful and pretty. “I didn’t think they would be the same length.”

Hongbin snorts, smacking his arm with a shake of his head. “You’re already such a brat.” He helps Sanghyuk down from the pedestal, his arms around Hongbin’s shoulders and he could have made Sanghyuk shorter but he didn’t and Sanghyuk, despite being the youngest now, towers over him, grinning down at him. 

“Don’t bring up Hakyeon’s height,” Hongbin warns when Sanghyuk opens his mouth. “He’s the shortest of all of us.”

“There’s more?” Sanghyuk asks, his eyes flashing red, pink, blue and orange all at once. His jaw is sparking with yellow and he opens his mouth only to flex his jaw. “Jaehwan-hyung. And Hakyeon-hyung?”

Hongbin nods, helping him to the door where he knows Hakyeon is waiting. Sanghyuk’s weight is comforting across his shoulders, his colours pretty against Hongbin’s skin. The door opens before he can turn the handle and Hakyeon’s face is almost splits in two when he smiles. Hongbin moves so that Hakyeon can hold Sanghyuk, hugging him tightly and Sanghyuk returns it easily, their heights a stark contrasting but Sanghyuk’s body almost encases Hakyeon, keeping him safe and Hakyeon laughs as he’s twirled in the air, pure happiness shared between them and Hongbin watches them, his mind clearer just from the sight of them.

Jaehwan comes barrelling down the stairs and crashes into them, taking them to the floor in a cluster of limbs and colours and Sanghyuk laughs, his arms around both of them tightly. He’s so big and somehow manages to hook his foot behind Hongbin’s knee and pull him into the pile, Hakyeon shifting himself so he can grab Hongbin too, kissing him fiercely as Jaehwan laughs, Sanghyuk groaning at the display. 

“So, this is family, yeah?” Sanghyuk says after a while and Jaehwan surges up to kiss his cheek.

“This is family!” he smiles, snuggling into Sanghyuk like he’s a big puppy and Hongbin rolls away to the side when Hakyeon does, laying down on top of him. He holds Sanghyuk’s hand while Hakyeon smiles at him, blinking adoringly up at him.

“Welcome to our family,” Hakyeon whispers and Sanghyuk grins at him, their foreheads together. It’s family in every way possible and Hongbin’s stomach is spinning in circles, making him want to burst into tears and snuggle closer to all of them. Jaehwan perks up, almost like he can feel Hongbin’s emotions and he leans over Sanghyuk’s chest to rake Hongbin’s hair out of his face, kissing his forehead while he cringes away, Hakyeon’s arms circling around him protectively.

“I’m happy,” he assures, smiling at all of them. “I’m very happy. You’re our little brother now, Sanghyuk.”

Sanghyuk hums, closing his eyes. He’s getting used to all of the sensations of everyone, his own pulses and reactions coming to him quickly and all at once. His eyelids spark with yellow, the shade seeming to be his colour, just as Hongbin’s is purple, Hakyeon’s is blue and Jaehwan’s is green. They all have their own, painting a world of colour with just their fingertips.

Family to them is a mess of colours and a lot of emotions that should be impossible but just are.

 

***

 

The apartment becomes too small for them. 

It’s a good change, considering that Hongbin is older now and about to graduate so they look into finding a new apartment. Jaehwan and Sanghyuk share the bedroom that was originally Jaehwan’s but it’s a little cramped, especially with just one bathroom. Jaehwan has a job, as does Hakyeon and Sanghyuk is interested in going to night school in the coming next year, after Hongbin graduates. All in all, it’s a very normal life that they lead, even with a tiny apartment.

When things are normal, things start to go wrong in Hongbin’s life.

At first, it’s his wrist acting up. His cybernetic arm is completely fine, easy to use and working perfectly but his left hand, the one he prefers, is beginning to hurt him badly and he doesn’t know why. It’s a purely human thing that sends him to a private doctor’s care. He balances out the sessions and tries to get the problem solved as soon as possible but there’s a chance he’ll need surgery because there’s a high chance it’s carpal tunnel. He’s good at lying about his work and it’s just a personal issue for him at the moment, nothing major or dangerous for any of them.

But Jaehwan gets into trouble.

Hongbin never thought it would be him to be hurt. It isn’t even for the reasons he assumes when Jaehwan comes home, a mask and beanie on to hide his face. Punching Jaehwan should feel like punching metal and it does but apparently, the guys that stumbled into his work didn’t get that memo. Jaehwan defended himself but Hongbin takes the bus with him to his mother’s house and repairs what’s broken. Jaehwan’s wiring is visible in his arm but it’s a good thing that Hongbin made their skin difficult to remove if you don’t know how to. Not much of it shows but the skin of Jaehwan’s skin is broken, green faintly pulsing through it.

“They were drunk, I think,” Jaehwan says, shaking. “It wasn’t personal.”

It doesn’t matter if it was personal or not. If Jaehwan’s coworkers saw, there’s a high chance he may need to look for a new job but Jaehwan was alone tonight, closing up by himself and his coworkers long gone. It might be smart for him to look elsewhere, though, just in case one of those guys comes back.

“I didn’t fight back,” Jaehwan whispers, watching Hongbin’s needle lace his artificial skin back together. Those words hurt Hongbin more than anything because Jaehwan couldn’t have fought back. He couldn’t have done anything because it would have come back to _Hongbin_ most of all. There’s not a lot of news that gets out about cyborgs in media, only that the people who create them are usually stopped and framed as dirty, as crazy. There’s only one race and that’s the human race. If cyborgs are created, they are to be below humans and they are to stay there. Hongbin disobeyed that rule countless times and he plans to keep doing it.

“Please, look for another job,” Hongbin finally says once he’s finished, his eyes on Jaehwan’s arm. “Don’t risk it again. I know you love your coworkers, but Jaehwan, if they-”

“I will.” Jaehwan isn’t looking at him when he speaks, his eyes fixed on the green vitals that are changing on the screen. “I’ve been there a while. They won’t question if I leave.”

Hongbin squeezes his hand, nodding frantically. He’s scared for all for them, frustrated that he doesn’t know what the future holds for them now. They used to take it one day at a time but now… He’s not so sure they can. He can’t uproot himself right now and Jaehwan won’t let him, even if they might be in danger. Hongbin holds the responsibility if someone finds out that he creates cyborgs and it will be him that will go under fire but because of it, Hakyeon, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk will all face the repercussions of simply existing.

“Did anyone follow you home?” Hongbin asks but Jaehwan is shaking his head before he finishes the question.

“I made sure of it.” Jaehwan nods to the mask and beanie on Hongbin’s desk. “I stayed out and walked around to lose anyone that might have been following. I got off the bus three stops before my usual one and walked around the block, too.”

Hongbin knows all of them are incredibly smart. Hakyeon is fluent in two languages, Jaehwan put himself together before Hongbin could even help and the only thing Sanghyuk can’t do is cook. They’re all fully functioning and more intelligent than Hongbin could have ever programmed them to be and it’s moments like this that Jaehwan tells him something like this that Hongbin is in awe. He wouldn’t have thought like that after what happened to Jaehwan, he probably would have called Hakyeon in tears.

“Good,” is all Hongbin can manage. It’s late and he’s way too emotional to deal with things right now so he stands and hugs Jaehwan tightly, keeping him close. The _I love you_ and _I’m glad you’re safe_ goes unspoken but Jaehwan hugs him back just as tightly, keeping him safe.

“Don’t worry so much,” Jaehwan laughs and Hongbin hides his tears.

 

***

 

Hakyeon is stressed. Jaehwan is finding another job. Hongbin is studying.

Sanghyuk decides to draw.

It’s something he likes to do recently. He’s waiting for his acceptance letter from the night school he applied for with the help of Hakyeon. They faked his records and were able to get Hongbin to forge letters from parents and a birth certificate. They’re running the risk in order for Sanghyuk to go but it’s the one thing he wants. Hongbin will be twenty-two in the coming September, graduating in August whilst Sanghyuk starts. It works out well and he’s only going to learn history and such because he’s interested in it. He and Hakyeon have looked into dancing studios too, something Hakyeon has always wanted to try but has never had someone to do it with.

Sanghyuk draws to keep his mind occupied. He’s not incredible but it’s fun to see what he can come up with, what he can express. Humans don’t have much of the colours he can see and experience which annoys him when he wants to add detail to his drawings but he gets by with the pencils and pens Hongbin gives him. He likes red a lot recently and Jaehwan bought him a new one from a Japanese store that’s really smooth.

Red is a nice colour. He thinks it might be his favourite but it’s a difficult colour to work with. He thinks it is pretty though, just hard to understand.

Hakyeon sits down next to him, only the two of them home and opens his book. Hakyeon is blue and Sanghyuk wonders if he gets along with red, if they would suit each other. Hongbin is purple, matching to Hakyeon and even though blue is a complementary colour of orange, they fit well together. Sanghyuk is yellow while Jaehwan is green, both of them fitting the spring and Hongbin has said that he created Jaehwan with the idea of new life in mind. Sanghyuk was created with love, both Hakyeon and Hongbin’s ideas coming together to form him and give him life.

Sanghyuk doesn’t think much when he draws but he’s thinking now. Thinking about red and who it would be in their little family. He creates a person, someone with sharp eyes and round cheeks, slightly longer hair and red eyes. He’s not scary though, not if you know him. He’s just misunderstood sometimes, his emotions not easy to portray but that’s okay. He doesn’t need to express them like Jaehwan or Hakyeon. He’s fine the way he is, quiet and collected and Sanghyuk shows Hakyeon when he’s finished, unsure of what it means.

Hakyeon blinks at the sketch, taking the book slowly and he frowns a little. Sanghyuk doesn’t say anything but Hakyeon takes the pen and writes _Jung Taekwoon_ next to it and closes the book, making a _hush_ motion with his finger over his lips and Sanghyuk snorts, returning to his drawing.

For another time.

 

***

 

They eventually move. 

His mother moves in with his aunt so that she isn’t alone all the time without Hongbin. When Hongbin graduates, he’s able to work from home and online, coding certain devices that people request of him. They live in a secretive society; people want security and they don’t care how they get it.

Jaehwan starts at a new job, at a cafe this time and he loves it. He comes home smelling of coffee and usually works in the morning, home in the middle of the afternoon with random gifts for Hongbin in the form of cookies and special pens that his coworkers give him because they think Sanghyuk would like them.

Sanghyuk starts night school overnight, literally and Hongbin graduates, happy with himself. They all move back into the family home so that Hongbin still has his lab in the basement and there’s three bedrooms already. Hongbin takes back his childhood one with Hakyeon and Sanghyuk and Jaehwan get their own rooms. It’s a lot easier fitting and Jaehwan doesn’t mind the extra travel time to his work.

Hakyeon keeps his job at the pottery business, selling some of his things there as well as candles online to people who are interested. They’re all making money somehow, even Sanghyuk doing surveys online for no reason and helping out at his school in the cafe before his classes. It’s back to normal life and Jaehwan hasn’t had another incident at work since the last one. He’s far away from his own job that Hongbin feels safe letting him go every time.

When Hongbin graduates, it’s strange for a while. He still works but he comes to the attention of his human health because of the surgery on his wrist. He’s better now but he dives into research in medicine for _humans_ rather than cyborgs. He knows more than he’ll ever need to know about cyborgs but he barely knows anything about his own body in terms of how to fix it when it fails.

The private doctor gave him a few recommendations for medications when he was recovering but he’s far from that now. He’ll be twenty-two soon, Hakyeon and Sanghyuk’s birthdays just passing a few weeks ago and it’s been almost a year since his had surgery. He was considering making himself another arm and has started on it but Hakyeon had begged him not to, to not give up yet another part of his humanity.

Hongbin looks at the arm abandoned on his table and pulls out his journal. He hasn’t had made any new plans recently since he’s been too caught up in graduating but that’s all over now. They’re safe and Hongbin thinks of what else he could do.

There’s a room in the hall leading to the basement that could be changed into bedroom and before Hongbin can stop himself, he’s grabbing his red pen and running through the hall to upstairs, waving the pen at Sanghyuk.

“What do you know about the colour red?” he says to the youngest cyborg who stares at him from the kitchen.

Sanghyuk blinks at him, snapping out of his daze and he runs upstairs, almost falling down the stairs when he returns, his sketchbook in his hand and he shows Hongbin the sketches of a man he’s never seen before but who seems so familiar to him and when he reads _Jung Taekwoon_ in Hakyeon’s handwriting, he grins up at Sanghyuk and takes the sketchbook.

“One more,” he says and Sanghyuk smiles, boyish and sweet as he follows Hongbin into the laboratory.

Jaehwan comes homes and helps too, his speed helping them to replicate the arm Hongbin started and work on a chest piece. Hakyeon gets the call from Hongbin and brings home whatever wiring and metal he can find in the hardware stores, confused but willing and when Sanghyuk says, “We’re building Taekwoon,” Hakyeon smiles and sits on the floor with the sketch, noting how wide he thinks Taekwoon’s shoulders should be and that he should have a mole underneath his right eye. As they all plan and speak ideas, everything comes together. Everything fits, even Jaehwan’s note that his voice should be higher than all of theirs and softer. Nothing is denied because they create Taekwoon together, knowing what he needs and what he doesn’t and Hongbin implements the red into his wiring like Sanghyuk suggests and everything makes sense.

They’re a messy rainbow but it’s so perfect, it’s almost funny and Jaehwan sings as he wields and connects wiring. Hakyeon threads light brown hair, the fringe falling over Taekwoon’s left eye and he’s a little pale but it’s nothing Hongbin can’t fix. Taekwoon is pretty in a sharp way, more effeminate than Hakyeon but taller and slimmer than them all. His shoulders are broader than Sanghyuk’s but he’s not nearly as big as him. He’s not complete and yet he fits in perfectly.

Hakyeon ushers them all upstairs when it gets to three in the morning. Hongbin needs to sleep and Jaehwan has work tomorrow anyways. He powers them both down in their bedrooms and Hongbin falls asleep easily after Hakyeon switches himself off, his chest still raising and falling under Hongbin’s touch. He smiles before he himself is switched off to the world, his mind fixated on sharp eyes and a hauntingly beautiful voice.

 

***

 

Hongbin’s twenty first birthday comes.

Hakyeon wakes him up with breakfast in bed and Hongbin eats with his arm around Jaehwan who won’t let him go. They’re more or less cuddling as Hongbin eats and Sanghyuk gifts him a new phone, bought will all of their money since Hongbin’s is falling apart but he refuses to get a new one.

“I can’t take this,” Hongbin defends, trying to give it back to Sanghyuk. Or really, anyone that will take it. He doesn’t like material things; breakfast is enough for him.

“You can,” Hakyeon urges, shoving the phone box back to him. “Hongbin, your phone doesn’t have a camera or home button. You need it.”

“And parts of the screen have fallen out,” Jaehwan mumbles, his face tucked into Hongbin’s neck.

“Fine.” Hongbin rolls his eyes and takes the phone, letting Jaehwan set it up quickly as he finishes his breakfast. They have a big day considering that Hongbin’s one and only birthday wish was to work on Taekwoon. He thinks they might have him finished by October if they’re lucky. 

They get a lot done. Jaehwan designs Taekwoon’s voice since he knows the audio files the best and Sanghyuk decides that Taekwoon most definitely needs to have black fingernails. Hongbin isn’t sure how long that will last but he doesn’t argue.

Hakyeon watches everything go on with curious eyes. Hongbin thinks that when Taekwoon comes in, he might be around the same age as Hakyeon. Everyone agrees on twenty-four, the same as Hakyeon and somehow, it fits well. Taekwoon _should_ be that age. 

Hongbin runs tests and he has to adjust some things himself and Taekwoon still doesn’t have legs. He works on Taekwoon alone after a while since he has to test and he won’t run the risk of hurting anyone else. The red works well with Taekwoon but there’s transmissions that aren’t matching up. He needs to put in scent receptors as well as hearing still and that’s something he wants to do, rather than Jaehwan. They’ve all collectively built Taekwoon but there’s certain things Hongbin has to do, things he won’t let Jaehwan handle.

He sings to Taekwoon, just like he did with Hakyeon. Maybe Taekwoon can hear him, even without the transmissions. Taekwoon has one working ear and Hongbin says goodnight to him when it gets too late, climbing up the stairs. His twenty first birthday passes like that, his mind on Taekwoon and he falls asleep as he kisses Hakyeon, his partner laughing at him.

 

***

 

October comes and goes and Taekwoon isn’t finished. 

He doesn’t have legs because Hongbin hasn’t been able to do it. One of them is complete but Taekwoon has arms and a head and that’s good enough for now. His heart is stubborn and it won’t respond to him. It responds to Hakyeon on the odd occasion and Hongbin throws it in and decides to do a finally test, whether or not Taekwoon has working limbs or not. If the heart won’t respond to him, there has to be something wrong so he has to test it sooner or later.

He runs the test. The lights flicker but there’s no complete blackout. 

Taekwoon’s fingers twitch but he doesn’t open his eyes.

Hongbin curses as he cries.

 

***

 

Hongbin wonders why Taekwoon’s heart responds to Hakyeon.

He doesn’t want to but he pulls Hakyeon into the laboratory to run the final test but still, Taekwoon’s fingers twitch and nothing else. There’s no blackout, no outburst of colour, nothing.

Hakyeon watches as Hongbin switches between programmes on his computer, as he curses and circles through his notes, trying to find the problem. Hongbin turns when Hakyeon hums, seeing his partner’s hand on Taekwoon’s cheek.

Hakyeon closes his eyes, feeling for something and Hongbin touches his shoulder, hoping it’s reassuring. Hakyeon turns his head to the side, opening his mouth before he opens his eyes in surprise, blinking. He turns to Hongbin and touches his cold hand to his cheek, stroking his cheekbone.

“We all made him, didn’t we?” he says, nodding to the computer. “Jaehwan made his voice and Sanghyuk made his colours. You and I made his wirings and I bought the materials for him. Maybe he’s not waking up because he needs us all?”

Hongbin blinks at him, surprised but his face breaks into a slow grin. He kisses Hakyeon’s hand and runs to the door, calling for Jaehwan and Sanghyuk quickly. When the others comes down, he pulls them into the laboratory and keeps everything in gear on the computer. He almost slips in his hast to get back to Taekwoon, the final test in place and he waits, holding Sanghyuk’s hand like a lifeline.

He sucks in a breath when the lights burst and all he sees is red. He smiles.

 

***

 

Taekwoon blinks, the world coming into focus around him. His eyes won't focus but then they do and then they don't and then-

A man is in front of him, beautiful and wide eyed while three others peer at him over the man’s shoulders, all of them different but inviting at the same time. They all have different coloured hair, one blonde while another has brown and Taekwoon is unsure as to how he knows those colours but when the man - _Hongbin,_ his mind somehow supplies - lifts his hand slowly, Taekwoon turns his head, the gears sounding off in his neck as he does, lifting his own hand to meet Hongbin’s.

Their fingers intertwine and Hongbin’s smile is nothing short of inspiring, warm and lovely and Taekwoon stares at their hands, experimentally squeezing their fingers together. He can sense Hongbin’s humanity, as limited as it is but it’s more than Taekwoon has and pretty under his fingertips. Hongbin is crying but he’s happy, something Taekwoon doesn’t quite understand. Why would he be crying?

“Your name is Taekwoon, isn't it?” Hongbin asks softly, the three others moving around and helping Taekwoon sit up. He knows he doesn’t have legs; he can’t feel them. “I’m Hongbin. That's Hakyeon,” he says, gesturing to the one standing behind Taekwoon now, his arms cold around his stomach but holding him close against his chest. 

Taekwoon is moved and he doesn’t protest, now on a cot like bed in the corner of the room. He was right - he doesn’t have legs but he can see one on the table across the room.

“Jaehwan,” Hongbin says when Taekwoon is settled, their fingers still intertwines. Jaehwan is looking at their hands and places his hand over Hongbin and Taekwoon’s hands, beaming up at him. Taekwoon wants to touch his nose.

“And Sanghyuk.” 

The final one is standing a considerable distance away, his fingers wrenched together and he blinks up, his eyes flicking between green, blue, red, orange, before they settle on a deep brown. He steps forward and buries his fingers in Taekwoon’s long hair, letting Hakyeon lay back so that Sanghyuk can move in closer to him. He sits on the edge of the cot, staring at Taekwoon in awe. 

“We’ve been waiting for you,” Jaehwan whispers, cuddling himself into Taekwoon’s body. “Thank you for coming.”

He sounds like Taekwoon had a choice in this but even if he didn't, this is better than nothing. There was nothing before this moment and though it is overwhelming in the best way possible, Taekwoon lets himself relax into Hakyeon’s chest. Hongbin wipes his eyes, trying to hide his tears and Taekwoon wonders what it’s like to cry.

“Good morning,” he whispers, his heart strings pulling with Jaehwan’s laughter and they all cuddle closer, Sanghyuk’s hair soft under his chin, his fingers warm on Taekwoon’s chest in contrast to Hakyeon’s metal. It’s an overload but it’s not unpleasant. A family he never asked for but whole heartedly deserves are here with him, breathing life he never had but now shares with the four of them. He has the urge to cry, one he never had before but tucking his nose into Hongbin’s hair seems to stop that feeling, calm washing over him in a form of a sigh.

“Welcome home,” Hongbin says and Taekwoon lets a small smile glace his lips where no one can see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you question it: there will be a part two which will involve wonshik and have a lot more plot lol.


End file.
